weddings

"My friend asked me to lose weight for her wedding so the photos would be more 'symmetric'."

Long after a wedding is done, wedding photos live on.

They capture the day in all its glory, so it makes sense that if it’s your wedding day, you want to have good photos. Great photos, even, that you can look back on and reminisce.

But considering it’s about love and celebration and happiness… is making some of the most important people in your lives feel shitty just so you can have ‘symmetrical’ wedding photos all that important?

Uh oh. We share the worst requests we’ve ever received as a bridesmaid. Post continues below video.

Video by Mamamia

No, it is not.

But one maid of honour has shared how her friend of nearly 30 years made her an (unsolicited) fitness plan so she’d drop 9-14 kilograms before the wedding.

The 33-year-old MOH posted to Reddit to ask for advice on how to handle to situation.

“My friend is a personal trainer and just got engaged to another personal trainer. All of their friends were met through the gym they both work at. I have known her since we were both 5. I am not a personal trainer.”

The woman said she was a US size 10 – which is an Australian size 14, a.k.a bang on average.

“I’m very comfortable with who I am, and my doctor is too,” she continued, before explaining how her friend had asked her to lose weight.

“Tonight she called me with the “best” news. Her fiancé and her are putting together a great workout and meal plan together for me. They figure if I drop 20-30lbs, the wedding pictures will be more ‘symmetric’.

“She was so happy and excited, like she was doing me a favour… I wasn’t even sure what to say so I just hung up and haven’t responded. I am completely flabbergasted.

“This isn’t a situation where I constantly bitch about my weight and then get mad when someone offers to help. I’ve never ask for help, I’ve never mentioned wanting to lose weight… They both just kind of took it upon themselves to ‘help me’.”

ADVERTISEMENT

The woman said she planned to opt out of being MOH in the wedding, but was also second-guessing whether she wanted to attend at all.

Asking for advice on how to handle the situation, most responses implored her to ditch not only the wedding, but the friendship.

“So they care about ‘symmetrics’ more than the friendship? All about image… no friend… I’d decline to participate. That is so callous & inappropriate of them,” one person wrote.

“What the actual f*ck? No, that’s not okay. A real friend would never ask that of you either,” said another.

“I feel like this is a good time to reevaluate things and figure out how much you want to continue this relationship. It’s possible that there’s something to salvage, but I think she definitely tipped her hand regarding the disdain or disregard she has for you, physically at least,” another response said.

But there were also others wondering if the bride was just misguided, and questioned throwing away 30 years of friendship without getting to the bottom of it.

“Maybe she just put her foot in it… Maybe give her a second chance, explain that you don’t like having all this prepared without your consent, you are not interested and it’s really wasteful to focus on details so shallow as symmetry of the wedding pictures. A wedding is party just that, all you want is to spend a good day surrounded by those you love, eat well and get a few pictures capturing everyone’s happy faces and fancy dresses, that’s what she needs to remember,” said one person in favour of checking in with the bride before throwing away the friendship.

Another wrote: “It is f*cked up, there’s absolutely no denying that. But perhaps she needs a reality check. Maybe ask her what’s more important; having the people she truly cares about in her wedding pictures, or symmetry? If it’s the latter, don’t go, and maybe burn that bridge altogether while you’re at it.”

In a response, the MOH said she had decided to opt out of the wedding completely.

“I realise her job daily involved talking about all of this… and she is paid a premium for what she offered to do for free for me, but I’m not willing to just blame her career and let it slide. I’ve known her for almost 30 years. My earliest memories are with her. If she doesn’t know me well enough to realise how offensive this is, then she really doesn’t know me,” she said.

She then floated the idea of her and her husband taking their kids on a cruise instead, since they already have the time off.

Now that sounds like a great idea.

Tags: bridesmaid , lifestyle , news-stories , weddings
00:00 / ???