"Help: My bridesmaid is determined not to do her hair as I've asked."

The role of a bridesmaid is not always an easy one. You’re often asked to do things you may not agree with (like wear a dress you’d never pick yourself), you’re absolutely expected do everything you can to make the bride happy. After all, it’s their day.

But while you do hear of unreasonable requests, it’s a seemingly innocent one that’s causing one bride a lot of stress.

“Hi everyone! I need some advice. I’m paying for someone to do my bridesmaids’ hair. I’m wearing my hair down and curly so I asked the stylist to do all the girls’ hair either up or braided in a fishtail braid,” she wrote on Reddit.

Image: iStock

"However, I have one bridesmaid who's really pushing back on this. She's saying she just won't get her hair done and she'll do it herself.

"I don't know how to say to her, without sounding like a jerk, that I really want to be the only one with my hair down. Is that okay to do? Is it rude to dictate how their hair is done?"

The responses from users were mixed.

"Eh. I would bummed if I was told my hair had to be in an updo because I hate the way I look and have some scars on the back of my neck, but if if the bride was paying and I loved her and wanted her to be happy, I would just go along with what she wanted," wrote one commenter.


Need hair inspiration? Watch and learn from our resident braid pro Lauren. (Post continues after video.)

"Especially because in agreeing to be a bridesmaid I would have assumed from the get go that the bride would want me to have a certain dress/hairstyle/make up and that this was part of the deal."

Others argued that the bride should take into account her bridesmaids' comfort and wants as well as her own.

"Honestly, yes, I think it is rude. I can't stand to wear my hair down. I hate when it touches my ears and I would feel uncomfortable and not like myself for the 10 plus hours spent doing that for a friend's wedding," wrote another.

"You're the bride. You will stand out without telling someone how to do their hair." (Post continues after gallery.)


However the bride believes there's a more selfish reason her bridesmaid is resisting her hairstyle request.

"She told me she wants to wear it down so she can show off the colour (it's green), and that she just prefers her hair down. I can understand comfort, but literally all I'm asking is for her not to wear her hair the same way I am," she wrote.

She also pointed out that it's not uncommon for her friend to wear her hair up.

"I forgot to mention two things: one - I've seen her wear her hair up once a week for the past year. Two - she is getting the colour glazed and redone two days before the wedding so it's 'extra bright and shiny'," the bride wrote.

"I truthfully think this is her wanting to show her hair off, not a comfort thing. And that's what's making me want to push back."

Listen: Ask Bossy on the topic of rogue bridesmaids. Post continues after audio.

The bride also said she hadn't dictated the shoes, dress or jewellery her bridesmaids had to wear - the hair was just the one thing she was set on.

"I've been so lax about decisions. I've said 'I really don't care, whatever you want' more times than I can count," she said.

"Why can't I have one thing I want at my wedding? I don't want to fight and if it comes down to it I'll let her wear it down I guess. But I just want this one thing."

Image: iStock.

What do you think she should do?