‘Trust is choosing to make something important to you, vulnerable to the actions of someone else.’
Brené Brown is a PhD from Texas, USA with a research background in vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. “I get to dig into the stuff that matters in my life and in the lives of people around me,” she told the audience of Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sessions.
Brown’s speech at this event is eye-opening to say the least.
You can watch Brené Brown tell the story here:
“And my first reaction, to be really honest with you, was ‘damn straight,” Brown told the audience. “‘You don’t tell anybody anything but your mama’.” But she knew that probably wasn’t the right response.
In Ellen’s classroom at school was a marble jar. Marbles were put in, when the class worked together to do something good, and taken out when they didn’t. “Ellen, trust is like a marble jar,” Brown told her daughter. “You share those hard stories and those hard things with friends who, over time, you’ve filled up their marble jar. They’ve done thing, after thing, after thing so that you know you can trust them.”
Ellen turned the table and asked her mum, “Do you have marble jar friends? What kind of things did they do to get marbles?”
She did, and when she thought about the things that made her friends marble-worthy Brown realised, it’s the small, and seemingly insignificant moments that earn trust.
Surely it’s got to be more of a grand gesture, she thought. But all Brown’s research supported the idea. “It is crystal clear,” she said. “Trust is built in very small moments.”