I’m in Kmart. Fucking Kmart. The shiny DVDs and the kids disappearing into aisle four and the smell of air-conditioning and packaged sweets.
I’m staring at the electronics section when my phone rings. It’s someone I’ve been ‘seeing’. They’ve met my family. Patted my dog. Stayed in my bed. We had plans that night.
“Caity, I won’t be able to see you tonight.”
“Oh, umm, no worries…. Is something up?”
“Yeah, it’s not just about tonight… I’m just not ‘feeling it’ anymore. I’m just not ‘feeling it'”
It had been four months. My dog LOVED them. I did too. And all I got was a phone call.
It made me crazy. I turned into one of those people I never want to be. I was stalking social media. Turing up at parties I thought he’d be at. Cornering friends, friends of friends. Trying to understand why this person, who had once been so in to it (“once” meaning the actual day before) all of a sudden disappeared after a phone call and five meaningless, gutless words.
But, as much as I hated it, I have done the exact same thing since. A friend of mine takes it one step further. She is 25 and has never broken up with someone face-to-face.
Aren’t we all guilty of it?
Face-to-face breakups are difficult. They’re confronting. And, with so many different alternatives, we (millennials, in particular) aren’t partaking.
I’ve done it via Facebook, text and once a really bad phone call. – a writer in the office told me.
But where is the line? (Is there a line?) How long to do you have to be dating someone before a face-to-face breakup is required?
We asked around the Mamamia office.
The conversation went something like this:
Ummmm, two weeks.
Six months sounds about right.
Ideally it should be done face-to-face at any stage but… knowing what people are like, that’s not realistic.
SIX MONTHS IS TOO LONG.
Some responses were not so time-dependent:
Two dates warrants a face-to-face. It’s so rude not to do it face-to-face. This is someone you liked enough to go on a second date with!
NO WAY, two dates is too soon, that’s just awkward and kinda inconveniencing for them.
If you’ve shagged the person, a face to face is 100% necessary.