As told to Ann DeGrey.

I had been with Sam* for just over four years and I thought he was in love with me. We rarely argued, he constantly told me I'm beautiful and that he loves me. We also had lots of future plans; travelling, working overseas and starting a family. So I had no warning signs that anything was wrong.

Sam had this long-standing love for Japan, as he'd lived there in his twenties and always said the country still felt like home to him. He travelled there a couple of times a year, sometimes for work, sometimes just because he missed it.

I loved hearing his stories about immersing himself into Japanese culture and loving the natural beauty as much as he loved the nightlife.

He always promised that one day, he'd take me with him.

But the trip never happened. After a while, whenever I'd bring it up, he'd say it wasn't the right time, or that work was too busy. I let it go, thinking eventually we'd book it when things settled down.

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Then, he slowly started to change a bit. He just became quieter and more distracted. He'd be on his phone late at night, and when I asked if everything was okay, he just said he was tired.

But something about the way he spoke to me and looked at me made me think that maybe something was wrong.

I didn't think he was having an affair, but I started to think he was falling out of love with me.

Then came the safe; a literal safe, which he put in our bedroom wardrobe one weekend without even mentioning it to me.

I asked what it was for, and he was quite dismissive, saying he just wanted to keep a few "important documents" secure.

I remember joking, "What are you hiding, secret treasure?" So that was another sign that something was wrong.

I didn't push further, but I started to really watch him and how he behaved towards me, Then, about two weeks after I saw the safe, I knew what was going on.

Sam was working from home and had just finished taking a shower when his phone rang. He said it was an urgent call from a client, and he rushed out of the room to go to his study. That's when I noticed the wardrobe door was open, and so was the safe.

I was very keen to see what was in there and I found a bunch of documents, some cash, and a small box tied with a ribbon.

I opened it and found a lock of black hair which was wrapped in a tissue, and a folded letter. I wish I hadn't read it, but of course I did.

It was written by a woman named Aiko*. It was romantic, very intimate, full of promises about loving him forever. She talked about the apartment in Kyoto, how she couldn't wait to start their life together, how much she missed his touch and taste.

I swear my hands were shaking as I started going through the papers. There it was, in plain print; property purchase forms and a Japanese bank account under Sam's name. It looked like he'd bought a two-bedroom apartment in Kyoto.

Then I found other information that showed he had a one-way ticket and was set to leave in just under three weeks.

He hadn't told me anything. Not about this woman and not about the move. When was he planning on telling me? Or maybe he was just going to leave me and have me think he's been kidnapped or something.

When he came back into the room, I was sitting on the bed holding the contents of the safe. I just asked, "When were you going to tell me?" The look on his face said it all, then he said he was sorry. "I was waiting for the right moment."

I couldn't believe the audacity. All these years together and he was about to vanish without an explanation. He admitted he'd reconnected with Aiko, a woman he dated briefly when he lived in Japan years ago.

They'd kept in touch and fallen in love. He said he didn't want to hurt me and hadn't known how to break it off, so instead of being honest, he was going to leave me here with unanswered questions, thinking I'd done something wrong.

I told him to pack his things and leave immediately and the only time I saw him again was when he came over with his brother to move the rest of his stuff out. I still can't believe he did this to me.

It's been nearly a year and I feel like I'm still in shock. Sam is in Japan now. A friend saw a post online with him smiling outside a Kyoto apartment block with Aiko next to him. Well, I want to wish them happiness, but I'm still very upset. I'm not angry, I'm just so sad that someone I loved chose the most cowardly way to leave.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes).