beauty

Stop what you're doing, please. Botox for your butthole is finally a thing.

Today, my friends, is a very good day.

The sun is shining. We’re all alive and breathing. And we live in a world where you can pay lots of money to get botox in your butthole.

Oh goodness gracious me. 

I know what you’re thinking; Can I get it done as soon as this afternoon? EXCUSE ME HAVE MY MONEY PLS.

We discuss botox for your butthole on the most recent episode of Mamamia Out Loud, and Jacqueline Lunn has a shocking confession. Post continues below.

And to that I say, I don’t want your money. I am not a butthole botox surgeon myself. Take a deep breath – there’s not rush.

But like most of us, I’ve woken up every day for the last 20 something years, and interrogated my butthole. “Is my butthole as pretty as her butthole?” I ask myself.

“Why doesn’t my butthole look like the ones on Instagram…” I reflect sadly.

“If only there was something I could do, just so I could feel more confident walking down the street – applying for jobs – making friends,” I pray.

But not today. 

In a Vice article by Brian Moylan, he begins, “From skin-tag removal to anal botox, how a new class of doctors is making bottoming its top priority.”

Image via iStock.
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Anal has always been a prime sexual activity for gay men, but more recently, it's seen a surge of popularity among heterosexual partners. Moylan says that with the "normalisation of ass play," a new class of doctors and dermatologists are focusing their practice on, well, the butt. They offer everything from the aesthetic (anal bleaching) to the practical (anal tightening) in order to increase sexual pleasure.

Dr. Evan Goldstein, a leading practitioner in the field of anal rejuvenation, says business started booming about five years ago, when people began asking for more "lickable" and "playable" buttholes.

For many patients, receiving anal sex is near impossible because of the tightness of their sphincter muscles.

Anal botox works by paralysing the sphincter muscles, meaning that it is easier and more comfortable to insert something. Therefore, it serves a practical purpose, and can actually be very useful to anyone who has trouble participating in anal sex.

But for some, the botox is purely cosmetic.

Ah. There are so many very important cosmetic surgical procedures to be had, and yet so little time...

You can listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud, where we discuss stuffing up, slowing down, and how the hell to deal with lateness, right here. 

You can buy any book mentioned on our podcasts from iBooks at apple.co/mamamia, where you can also subscribe to all our other shows in one place.

Are you as excited about botox for your butthole as we are!?