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Bondi Hipsters react to Taylor Swift's bid for the Hottest 100.

On behalf of hipsters everywhere, the Bondi Hipsters respond…. As is their right.

The Bondi Hipsters have reacted to Taylor Swift’s possible inclusion in Triple J’s annual Hottest 100.

The deep v-neck loving fellas have provided news.com.au with some insightful social commentary regarding the issue, in the form of an open letter.

NSFW: If you thought the Miranda GQ shots were hot, these are better.

The letter basically shames ‘Middle Australia’, i.e. Bogans (who the hipsters believe are causing this ruckus) for caring more about Taylor charting than all the other issues currently happening in the world.

They don’t understand why a campaign to promote a world-renowned pop-star as a potential winner of a hipster song competition is what Australians are dedicating their hearts and minds to.

bondi hipsters 1RE
Yep, these guys. Image via Tumblr.
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Here’s what they said (brace yourself for the run-on sentence to end all run-on sentences):

“So hold on, let me get this straight. Middle Australia is perfectly comfortable standing around while our government breaks promises, denies the facts of climate change, cuts investments in science, charges us more for education and healthcare, supports deforestation, mines lands of ancient spiritual significance, dredges our Great Barrier Reef, spends all our money on jet planes and then blames the previous government for getting us in debt – but when Taylor Swift might get a song into the Triple J Hottest 100 they’re all united up in arms? Can you believe it? Something has finally mobilised the bogans!”

Now, on the one hand, the Bondi Hipsters’ point is a (grammatically overwhelming) fair one: Why should we care so much about a list of music, than say climate change, Australia’s debt or the millions of people in the world who go hungry every day?

On the other hand: Surely, most societies can be forgiven for wanting to kick back, have some fun and listen to some pop music on their national day? There is a time and a place for the big issues but there is also a time and a place for bubblegum pop. And that time and place are at number one of this year’s Hottest 100.

Also: On behalf of Taylor Swift fans everywhere, we would like to object to being labelled as bogans. Swifty may have her roots in country music and occasionally wear too-short-shorts but she’s a smart, sassy, feminist rocker and there ain’t nothing bogan about that.

Hmph.

 Read the open letter from the Bondi Hipsters in full below.

“So hold on, let me get this straight. Middle Australia is perfectly comfortable standing around while our government breaks promises, denies the facts of climate change, cuts investments in science, charges us more for education and healthcare, supports deforestation, mines lands of ancient spiritual significance, dredges our Great Barrier Reef, spends all our money on jet planes and then blames the previous government for getting us in debt – but when Taylor Swift might get a song into the Triple J Hottest 100 they’re all united up in arms? Can you believe it?

Something has finally mobilised the bogans! Look at the power they have. Wow, if this is what it takes to rile up the Australian voting public and make them think for themselves, maybe we need to tell them that Miley Cyrus is running for Prime Minister or that Justin Bieber is going to be the new Governor-General.

So just to be perfectly clear; Middle Australia doesn’t protest when life-giving, carbon-monoxide-eating, natural-oxygen-creating, world heritage listed Tasmanian rainforests are made available for logging. They don’t protest against the displacement of hundreds of thousands of innocent families thanks to the oil-hoarding wars we’re intimately involved in, or the myriad of potentially world-changing renewable energy patents that are buried under piles of capitalist corporate paperwork.

*Quick Taylor Swift break*

Aaaaaand back to the Bondi Hipsters’ letter:

They don’t protest when our jet-loving, budgie-smuggling Prime Minister and his sausage-fest cabinet sit around reading our emails, capturing our metadata, plotting ways to remove our freedoms and establish an Orwellian society right in front of our eyes.

They don’t protest about the fact that by 2016, the richest 1% of the world’s population will own more than 50% of the world’s wealth. Or that the world has lost 50% of its wildlife in the past 40 years. Nor that there is a hectic floating garbage island in the Pacific Ocean the size of a small continent… BUT… an American Pop Star might get into the Triple J Hottest 100, and they’re starving themselves, marching en masse carrying placards, and setting themselves on fire in the streets of Mollymook? Well, a massive congratulations to the Illuminati, because their distractions are working. People officially care more about celebrity nothingness than genuinely important world issues that effect the longevity of our planet and the future of human civilisation as we know it.

Look, don’t get us wrong. We’re not having a go at Triple J listeners. We don’t like Tay Tay’s tunes any more than the next brah, and for all we know she’s just another celebrity jerk, but it’s quite amazing that bogans have stopped chewing gum with their mouths open and hosing their driveways for long enough to get behind a cause greater than buying a lotto ticket or saving to get timeshare in a speedboat. I finally understand how middle Australia works. I finally understand how someone like Tony Aaaahbbott could have been voted in. And I’m finally getting my head around why politicians speak to us like they are chatting to eight year old children.”

Are you a Taylor Swift fan? Would you like to see her win the Hottest 100? Do the Bondi Hipsters have a point – do Australians care too much about celebrities and music and too little about the issues facing our planet?

Tags: celebrity , social-media
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