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Are people wearing protective cloth bibs when they give blow jobs while dressed??
Because they are in new American TV show, Empire – a musical drama that’s about as far from Glee as it gets. It’s about a family feuding over a hip-hop business and, incidentally, has some rather kickass cameos from Naomi Campbell, Macy Gray and Courtney Love.
But in episode two, a character called Rhonda gets a cloth out. And she is not doing the dishes. Nope, she’s actually on her way to work when she discovers her partner Andre hasn’t been taking his bipolar medication. The natural reaction to this news is to tell him to take it give him a blow job as an incentive (note: this medical practice is not GP-approved).
This is the number 1 most common sex injury
So she tucks the cloth – yes, a child’s fabric bib – into her shirt to protect herself from any, um, emissions. Then she gets down to it. Literally.
Now, here’s the thing.
Male ejaculate can travel at a head-ducking 45 kilometres an hour(!), she might not want to swallow, and she was wearing a very nice shirt – possibly silk and freshly ironed. The sperm-speed and the silk does sound potentially hazardous.
So can we kind of see where she's coming (no pun intended) from?
Though, call me boring, vanilla and so 2014, but I’d probably just take my shirt off.
Rhonda was also lucky she decided to get to it in a location so convenient to her blow job bib drawer. Unless she has them dotted all over the house (which, she may), it’s going to be a mood- and time-killer trying to find it. Can you imagine apologising to your boss as you pant into the office 15 minutes late, “So sorry, I couldn’t find my blow job bib – you know how it is.”
Can you tell what someone’s like in bed simply by looking at their face?
Official evidence that BJ bibs are going mainstream is limited. It mainly points to novelty stores that also sell blow-up goats and penis-shaped ice cube moulds.
But if sperm is sending your dry-cleaning bill through the roof, what’s a girl to do?
Would you, um, wear a blow job bib to protect your clothing?
