This post was first published on The Glow and has been republished with full permission. 

In this week’s particularly gruesome and irrevocably sad news cycle, Blake Lively has thrown us some gold. Some trippy, hippy gold in the form of her new lifestyle blog, Preserve.

Clicking around Preserve.us is like falling into a dreamy hipster K-hole you cannot get out of. You have no idea where you are or how you got to this point, but everything is so visually pleasing that you continue to move around unguided, in a daze. It’s as if Twin Peaks director David Lynch took acid and drove to Byron Bay in a kaleidoscope.

Seriously.

The launch video features a girl in a field sketching, hitchhiking surfers, a one eyed Italian greyhound, wait- was that the back of Ryan Reynolds head? people dancing in the rain, Blake eating a macaron, a man smashing chocolate with his bare hands, a pregnant pastry chef, and men playing ukuleles on the back of a fast moving truck. It finishes with a final message to “preserve now,” which could be a plea to extraterrestrials not to wipe out the entire human race or simple a suggestion to start a home pickling business.

We eventually made it out the other side, so we could bring you the 5 things we learned while poking around Preserve. Enjoy.

1. Blake Lively is hungry… “and not just for enchiladas.”

In her editor’s letter Blake reveals she is hungry for experience, not just Mexican food. She says that “sitting down to write this editor’s letter has been the hardest thing I’ve done yet on my Preserve journey.”

So presumably she didn’t code the website’s inception style layout… In what is the greatest indication of what Preserve is all about, she offers this:

“Everyone has a story to tell.

This idea is the cornerstone of Preserve.

So here at Preserve there are people, stories, essays, videos and goods which hopefully inspire your home, your style and your tongue. There’s expensive stuff. Inexpensive stuff. And everything in between. But their value, is up to you. We may romanticize it, calling it treasure. What we’re really saying is, we see worth on every level.

The function of Preserve is part magazine, part e-commerce hub, part philanthropic endeavor and above all, a place to showcase the power of imagination, ingenuity, quality, and above all, people.”

2. A sundae is a message from the subconscious, a stratified glimpse into a man’s desire hierarchy.

I mean, obviously.

In this is article? recipe? The concept of ice cream sundaes are explored in relation to sex… I think. Actually, I have no idea what is going on here.

3. There is such a thing as Artisan Salt, and it costs $40.

In her editor’s letter Blake says she is “no arbiter of what you should buy, wear, or eat,” BUT you can happen to buy Artisan Salt for the reasonable price of $40 if that’s what you believe is in your true destiny.

Along with the artisan salt you can buy clothes you’d only find on a Free People stylist, a crystal bowl, a $70 bowtie, a $1000 leather bag, printed jeans, and sorry but too late if you wanted to pay $395 for this floral dress, because it’s already sold out.

4. Blake wants to give kids hoodies.

Like any good philanthropist, Blake is thinking of the children. The site’s first goal is giving 5,000 American children a meal, 2,000 children a blanket, and 2,700 children a warm hoodie. The site will donate 5% of every purchase towards this goal in its first year of operation. What happens after that, I’m not sure.

5.  It is our god given right to dress up barbies.

It’s possibly something we’ve known forever – or by age two, but one writer on Preserve wants to point out that oft forgotten issue that dressing up dolls is a female’s god given right, goddammit.

I will leave you with this particularly excellent quote: ‘As our favorite Dolly reminds us, “Don’t judge me by the cover ‘cause I’m a real good book. So read into it what you will, but see me as I am. The way I look is just a country girl’s idea of glam.”’

Because Barbies.

Preserve makes no sense, but at the same time makes perfect sense. If you’re feeling a little low today I implore you to go and have a click around. I dunno, maybe buy some artisan salt if you’re feeling particularly spendy?

What do you think of Blake Lively’s new website?