Getting divorced brings lots of changes.
A change in residence for one or both of you, a parenting schedule you never had, newfound free time, dating for the first time in years (decades for some!), financial changes, going back to work perhaps, and if you choose: your name.
Should you change your name back after divorce?
Every divorce is different, and there is no right or wrong answer. Some people keep their married name forever, some change back, and some people change from husband number one to husband number two. (Not judging, by the way, just sayin’.)
The first piece of advice I want to give that might prove to be VERY helpful is, IF YOU ARE GETTING DIVORCED, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR DIVORCE DECREE GIVES YOU THE OPTION OF CHANGING YOUR NAME BACK TO YOUR MAIDEN NAME.
I recently met two women who both told me they had been divorced for a long time. Neither one changed their name back, and it wasn’t because they didn’t want to. They both stated that their attorneys didn’t put the option in their decrees. So, now, if they want to change their name back, they have to get an amendment to their divorce decree, which means spending more money on attorney fees and a court appearance. Make sure to tell your attorney to put a clause in your decree that gives you the right to change back.
You may never use it, but isn’t nice to have the option?
Every divorce is different, and there is no right or wrong answer.
So, should you change your name back? Consider these things:
Some women don’t want to have a different name than their kids, which is understandable. But, I don’t think that should inhibit anyone from changing their name back. If you change back to your maiden name, and your kids’ friends call you Mrs. So and So, you don’t have to correct a third grader and say, “I’m sorry, can you please call me Ms. Maiden?” Just don’t say anything. Allow them to call you Mrs. So and So. What’s so bad about that? It’s like if you are Jewish and someone says “Merry Christmas.” Why correct them? Just accept the sentiment and move on.
2. What’s the REASON you are changing your name back?
I know a woman who was so bitter and hateful against her ex, that she became obsessed with changing her name back. It’s like she thought her old name would help her get as far away from her ex as she could. Well, guess what? If you have kids, nothing will pull you away from having to deal with your ex. So, don’t change your name back because your ex disgusts you. Find other ways to deal with your hate and bitterness.