
Life’s a funny thing isn’t it. One minute you’re 14 and navigating the art of giving your first gobbie with the added hindrance of braces and then BAM you’re 31 and... well actually wearing braces again (clear aligners to be technical) because you didn’t wear your retainer as a youth.
But I’ll tell you one thing about turning 31; you’re wise AF. You KNOW sh*t at 31 and you scoff at your younger self who THOUGHT she knew sh*t about the world but was actually more naïve than a little shy fish about to gobble on some hooked bait.
Watch: The Mamamia team confess what we'd tell our 15-year-old selves. Post continues below.
So I thought I’d impart some of my wisdom on you all, despite not having been asked.
You’re welcome.
1. Don’t roast yourself like a rotisserie chicken.
When I was a humble youth, I would oil myself up and roll around in the sun, cooking my skin from all angles. Exactly like a rotisserie chicken is prepared for your sandwich. Don’t do this. You’ll hear it shouted from the rooftops by EVERY parent, beauty editor, supermodel etc and a tan might look good, but for the love of your wallet, stay out of the f*cking sun would you! Obviously, it’s not realistic to just veto the sun, but don’t spend your summer baking. It’s stupid. You’re putting yourself at risk of developing melanoma, so you could like, DIE; and it looks sh*t as soon as you reach 30. Sun damage isn’t cute and you’ll spend a bomb trying to rectify the signs with procedures and skincare. Just fake it baby.
2. Filler and Botox make you look old AF.
Controversial, but true. If you’re in your early 20s, DO NOT have ANYTHING injected into your face! It will not make you look hotter, it will make you look 35. You might think some of your fave influencers look fab but do they look fab for their age? My guess is that you think they’re a lot older than what they are. There is nothing as youthful as... youth, so put down the needle and stop trying to look like a weird inflatable doll.
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