rogue

"When it comes to Halloween costumes... am I missing something?"

It’s the morning after Halloween, and I have an issue: what the hell is going on.

While I’ve always known Halloween was a very American concept – one we’ve tried to latch onto in Australia because, yes, we also like lollies and dress ups, please – I’ve always been under the impression that I understood what it was about.

Scary things. Ghosts, witches, zombies, needles in strawberries. Real screwed up sh*t.

Historically, it was intended to be a night where you dressed as a monster or a ghost so you couldn’t be distinguished from any ‘undead’ released to roam the night. Obviously.

So costumes that make sense include a corpse bride, or a devil, or Cat and Romy from The Bachelor (that’s a joke I completely stole from Joel Creasey but sorry it’s hilarious).

What doesn’t make sense is… literally every costume I’ve seen from 2018. Scary costumes, it seems, are now the exception, not the rule.

NO ONE DRESSES UP AS ANYTHING SCARY AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING.

Photos of the Kardashian family on Wednesday night show them dressed as Victoria’s Secret angels. While that actually is terrifying, somehow I don’t think the Kardashians get the… irony. I think maybe they just wanted to dress like models. With wings. And lingerie.

Harry Styles went as Elton John.

Nicky Hilton went as her… sister. Paris. Why.

 

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21 again tonight! ????????✨✨✨PH vibes #HappyHalloween

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Ariel Winter went as Pamela Anderson, and Sarah Hyland went as a taco, with her boyfriend going as Belle. So it’s like Taco Bell.

Terrifying.

OLIVIA MUNN WENT AS THE HILARIOUS CHARACTER FROM CRAZY RICH ASIANS. Like, yes, we all want to dress up as Peik Lin. Just not for Halloween. Pls.

 

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Happy Halloween to everyone, but especially to all you crazy rich Asians!! #peiklin #crazyrichasians ????????‍♀️????

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KYLIE JENNER WENT AS A BUTTERFLY.

 

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my baby butterfly..

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These. Costumes. Aren’t. Scary.

These. Are. Just. Costumes. You. Wanted. To. Wear.

Which is fine. But they have precisely nothing to do with Halloween.

Interestingly, when I did some research, I found the history of Halloween isn’t necessarily all ghosts and monsters. According to one theory, dressing up originated from the idea of hiding your identity from the dead. So over time the philosophy has become ‘the more original the better’.

Still – surely there are other occasions for people to dress up just for the sake of it. Halloween is fundamentally defined by spookiness, the supernatural, and (in the US and Europe) the beginning of winter – a time of darkness, coldness and (in the past) a great deal of human death.

Essentially, I feel like Cady from Mean Girls, turning up in a really freaky costume and wondering why everyone’s dressed as sexy mice.

"Why are you dressed so scary?" Image via Giphy.

It's not that I think I have the right to tell people what to wear, it's more that I don't understand what they're wearing, or why. 

Ultimately, wear whatever you like.

But if people are haunted by your Victoria's Secret costume (lol those expectations of women are probs one of the scariest things about 2018), you can't be mad.

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