"I’m free on the weekend," my best friend said to me after we finished hanging out. "Just hit me up."
"Sounds good," I replied.
I texted him that weekend, but he didn’t respond. Hmm, weird. Later, I gave him a call. No answer. A few days later, I messaged him on Facebook and saw a "seen" notification from him, but no response.
What is ghosting? We explain. Post continues below.
He never talked to me again.
It was one of the most painful moments in my life. It utterly blindsided me. I knew this person for years; we were even roommates in university; we hung out all the time, and we knew each other’s families. Our mutual friends — and even my parents — were shocked and confused.
To this day, I still have no idea why it happened. But fortunately, I learned some powerful lessons during that saga, which helped me emotionally overcome the situation and build stronger friendships down the road. Here’s what I did — and didn’t do — to help me recover:
I didn’t criticise him.
When I was younger and I had difficulties with my parents, the thing that always poured salt in the wounds was they nagged and admonished me for not reaching out to them.
They would guilt me — even though they didn’t reach out to me either — and it always made the problem worse.
I knew I didn’t want to do the same thing so, instead, I reached out in a friendly way. I didn’t even acknowledge the ghosting; after all, I had no clue what was going on and we had a great friendship for so long. Maybe he just needed some space, some support, or someone to listen to him.
I could’ve attacked his behavior and said things like, "You’re being rude/mean/immature/etc.," but it would’ve killed the odds of him replying, so instead, I just continued to wish him well.