Excuse me, I’ve found the best fake tan in the world and feel an obligation to tell everyone I come into contact with about it.
It all began with me whinging to a friend about my goddamn pink sheets.
“Have you noticed that some fake tan turns your white sheets, pink?” I asked him.
Well, yes he had. But not just his sheets. My friend Josh had permanently stained his white leather lounge, in the shape of a human body, much to the dismay of his partner.
But Josh, you see, is a problem solver.
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“Jbronze is the solution,” he said with a wink that I most definitely am only imagining in retrospect. “Trust me.”
I looked him up and down and I must say, he had quite the glow. It was even, streak free, and his hands didn’t look as though he’d been handling large lumps of mud. It was… assuring.
With a wedding in a few days, I ducked out to my local pharmacy and found a bottle of Jbronze. It wasn’t as cheap as my usual, retailing at $29.95 for a 150mL bottle. But nonetheless I gave it a go.
I used a tanning mitt and loved the consistency. It was quite thick and creamy, unlike those fiddly sprays. It went on a dark brown colour, but once it was rubbed in it was invisible.
The first thing I noticed was the smell. It didn’t even smell a little bit like day old curry. Or musky artificial coconut desperately trying to mask the scent of offensive chemicals. It smelt like normal moisturiser.
Top Comments
Thank you for sharing! I have tried so many fake tans and while many have come up nicely in terms of colour, that putrid fake tan smell invariable reared its ugly head, even after I'd showered. I shall try JBronze now!