So, for someone who is well into skincare, when it comes to moisturising my body... no. Just no. I absolutely HATE IT.

It’s absurd, I know. Maybe it’s a sensory thing? I wear loads of rings - so many that taking them all off to ‘cream’ myself seems like effort, but the feeling of them slipping around my greasy fingers if I leave them on disgusts me.

Many body products smell too cocoa butter-y for my liking and they make me feel sick, plus I cannot deal with the sticky feeling on my skin after, particularly under clothes! *shudder*.

Watch: Check out the gross ingredients found in your cosmetics. Post continues below.

Then there’s the risk of getting oily patches on all your good tops, swimmers and undies if you have the audacity to get dressed too quick - and LASTLY - who wants-slash-has the time to stand around naked, lubing themselves up every single time they get out of the shower? Especially when it’s friggin' cold in winter!?

Not today, Satan... Not. To. Day.

The only times I can actually recall going “oh s**t - better get a greasin’” is on the few occasions I’ve been heading out on the razz with my pins exposed and realised that the epidermis of my shins was so parched that the top layer had actually turned into powder.

They do say from dust to dust...

More and more I start to think, though - what’s the point in having a $500 face if it’s on a five buck body? Also, the skin is the largest organ you’ve got, but your face is, like, the tiniest bit? Every other body part is literally watching as I lavish layers of hydration upon my face singing bloody Shannon Noll.

It’s nonsense.

I can’t be the only one who acts like this. I know you do, too! So, as it starts to get cooler, skin gets drier, moisturising even horribler - I’m going to share my easiest, breeziest, least residue-siest body hydrating hacks!

L’Occitane Almond Milky Bath, 500ml, $45.00.

I’m a big fan of the L’Occitane Lavender foaming bath, and I thought this would be it’s creamy counterpart, but it actually IS milk.

It isn’t thick, it doesn’t foam, but it smells AMAZE and is enriched with almond oil, meaning you can literally just lie back in the tub, have a wine, eat a bucket of fried chicken or something and let it do ALL of the moisturising for you. I felt baby soft stepping out after, and no further products were required! ZERO effort, and if a milk bath was good enough for Cleopatra it’s good enough for me. Peak CBF this one - love it.

Ipsum Best Skin Body Oil, 100ml, $45.00.

Whenever a product toots its own horn like this (‘best’?) I always think to myself “I’ll be the judge of that!” but honestly? I don’t know if my skin is particularly thirsty right now or if it really does have next-level absorbability but this oil dries completely dry!

There is absolutely zero residue. None. I can chuck clothes on immediately after and it’s not even a thing. It’s a blend of Avocado, Grapeseed, Macadamia, Argan and Jojoba oils plus native Davidson Plum extract, and while it's the first product I’ve tried from this brand it definitely shan’t be the last!

Biologi BF Face & Body Restore Serum, 50ml, $72.00.