celebrity

Ben Affleck is the ultimate single girl.

Welcome.

Do you remember what you were doing when those photos of Ben Affleck and his new back tattoo first dropped? I do, of course. I was out for drinks with friends, which was thrilling because it was the perfect time to discuss a broken-hearted man having a conniption.

If you don't remember, freshly single Ben Affleck went viral all the way back in 2015 as his new 'phoenix rising from the ashes' tattoo was debuted on the interwebs. Fresh off his divorce from Jennifer Garner, the actor was on set filming Live By Night when he was seen sporting the new ink.

The images made the rounds online and the dot com lost its mind over the sad, single Ben Affleck snaps. Was this part of his new role? Was it real? At first, he insisted it was a fake tattoo for the film. But actually, no, he just 'resonated' with the message in his divorce era.

"It's a phoenix. I was about to say it represents something really important to me! It's meaningful to me. I love my tattoo, I'm happy with it," he later told Ellen DeGeneres in 2019, admitting it was real.

"A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?" Garner later asked, in an interview with Vanity Fair. "I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes."

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Now, Ben has taken his post-split makeover in a new direction.

Having separated from his wife of two years, Jennifer Lopez, Benny boy has gone the more traditional route of dyeing his hair.

He's dyed his salt-and-pepper beard black, to be specific.

"Celeb colorist not impressed by Ben Affleck's apparent hair dye job," Page Six reported on October 6.

And to that I say, who has not had a questionable hair transformation in the wake of a bad breakup?

In fact, I would go so far as to say this is just the latest example in a string of unserious endeavours that prove Ben Affleck is the ultimate single girl.

Yes, Ben, who drinks a daily iced almond latte with two sugars from Dunkin Donuts. He's rarely seen walking the streets without a cold bevvy in hand — come rain, hail, or shine, he's on the iced latte grind. Which is incredible girlie pop behaviour.

I thought the only celebrity I'd ever relate to in a post break-up world would be Taylor Swift. But actually, I fear it's Ben Affleck.

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Meaningful back tattoos, beard transformations, it's all in a day for our relatable brokenhearted king.

It's just me and you in this world, Ben. Image: Dunkin Donuts.

But it's not all phoenixes and box dye for Ben.

There was the time he broke up with Ana de Armas in 2021, and days later was seen disposing of a life-size cardboard cutout of the actress on bin day.

Now, I must admit I have never owned a life-sized cardboard cutout of an ex but I have owned photographs. You know where they've ended up post-split? The bin! Hard relate to this one.

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The famous equivalent of archiving couple photos on your Instagram.

Then there was the time Ben was seen looking serene as he took a stroll in a button-up cardigan, amidst rumours of a split from Jennifer Lopez. Rumours, it would later be confirmed, that were true. In fact, the post-divorce timeline revealed they had only been broken up for a few weeks at this point.

Whomst among us would not enjoy a stroll on a chilly tree-lined street, wearing our cosiest cardigan for contemplation purposes? I just know the thoughts were deep that day as he dealt with his heartache.

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Maybe he went home and listened to Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers. Who could say for sure?

Ben and his sad cardigan appeared on TV following his serene stroll. I love it. Image: Peacock.

There are just a few things we can count on in this world: death, taxes, and Ben Affleck being the perfect representation of feeling the crushing weight of the world at all times. But through it all, he perseveres. Iced coffee in hand.

Feature Image: Canva/Dunkin Donuts.