"Please don't tell me your birth story. Seriously."

When it comes to birth stories, is it better to share, or shut up?

The lesson we all need to learn is that not every pregnant lady wants to know what B-Day will be like.

Well, maybe from the trained professional of her choice. But not from you.

Only a pregnant woman can understand the dual feelings of looking forward to finally meeting your baby and being simultaneously terrified of giving birth. Which is why so many decide to be somewhat blissfully unaware of the looming day.

My colleague is one of these women.

She is nearing the final few weeks. She’s used to be asked what she is and isn’t eating, and whether or not she should be eating that. So when she was cornered in the lunchroom recently, she thought it was another of those talks.

Oh, was she wrong.

One of her colleagues, who she only knew by the hallway nod, decided to educate my dear colleague on B-Day.

"He proceeded to talk me through his wife's birth, what her anus looked like during the birth, the importance of perineal (vaginal) massage before birth, the colour and smell of her water breaking, the tear she had..."

By this stage, all other colleagues had fled the lunch room. Leaving my pregnant colleague unable to escape.

And what's worse, my friend says this is not the first time she's been standing there, clearly uncomfortable, while someone tells her their "horror story."

"There's a reason I don't watch the Discovery Channel," she tells me, still clearly traumatised.

Like many women, while my colleague is happy to know some information to prepare herself for B-Day, there's a limit.

"The issue is I understand that the birth is an incredible process for women and their partners. No denying it. With weeks to go I haven’t yet given birth, and I am absolutely shit-scared about the whole thing. But I know my partner and I will get through it. I don’t know what’s to come, but whatever I have, right now, I am optimistic about, because birth is a big thing. The only thing I have right about now, is optimism that everything will be okay.

"Optimism will get me into the hospital room, it will help me breathe and optimism gets me through the thoughts and challenges of bringing a bub into the world like it is today.

"Hearing about a tearing vagina does not."

"The one thing I promise to all women, is when I give birth, I will only give advice if I am asked for it," she tells me. "I didn’t need to picture his wife’s vagina. If I wanted to know about the birthing process, I’d ask Dr. Google – that guy knows everything!"

So if you have given birth, and you are eager to tell the next pregnant lady what happened to you...don't. Unless she asks. Then make sure how much she wants to know.

Where do you stand? Is it good to hear other people's birth stories, or is it kinder not to share?

Want more? Try:

I was three months pregnant when I saw this Post-It note on the fridge…

“Isn’t my baby enough of a gift? Hell no, I want a diamond, too.”