couples

Meet Bradford and Angela: A bi-sexual couple who also have an open relationship.

Bradford and Angela are a 30-something couple who have been together for over four years after meeting each other at work.

The only difference between Bradford and Angela and other married couples is they are both bi-sexual, they have an open relationship and both of them are happy to swing with the same sex or opposite sex either in front of each other or on private dates.

Before coming out Bradford admits he was confused about his sexuality through his teens into his 20s.

“The first time I really thought about the label bi-sexual was when I was seeing a therapist. After the ending of my previous marriage and she said to me, you have a naked female and male in front of you, which one do you want. I said, ‘Why can’t I have both?’”

Now living in Sydney, both Bradford and Angela grew up in the Deep South of the USA where anything that is not strict heterosexuality is frowned upon but both claim that they’ve had nothing but positive support from their parents.

Both Bradford and Angela grew up in the Deep South of the USA. Image supplied.

“My parents have always been amazing through my life. They are still very happily married after 43 years. I learned how to love from them and I think they did a damn good job raising me," Bradford says.

"Much like Angela's parents, they may not always understand why I do something but they are always in full support of me and my decisions.”

Bradford claims that the biggest issue they have faced has been from people who don’t see bi-sexuality as a legitimate group.

“Lots of people claim that we haven’t yet decided, or that we are greedy, or we're sitting on the fence or that we are still confused," he says. "A lot of people won’t accept bi as a sexuality."

"For men it’s the hardest for us as sexual fluidity is much more accepted in women. Things don’t have to be black or white, sometimes there are shades of grey. We actually get more negativity from identifying as bi-sexual than we do for having an open relationship or swinging.”

The couple started off as “friends with benefits” who were still seeing other people of both sexes on the side and talking about their experiences with each other. From there, they decided they wanted to see each other in action with both sexes. Ultimately, this lead to their choice to have a more open relationship.

“At least in an open relationship we are being completely honest, there is no cheating, there is nothing we can’t discuss, there is no hiding or being deceitful. These days cheating on your spouse is more accepted than being in an open and honest relationship which is kind of hypocritical," Angela believes.

The couple started off as “friends with benefits”. Image supplied.

Bradford added that he believes it's "incredibly hot" watching his wife having sex with another man.

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“[It's] hotter than watching her with another woman, because she is so beautiful, intelligent, talented and an amazing person, so I think how lucky is that other guy to be with her. But at the end of the night she is coming home with me and it’s like watching live action porn with someone you know.”

Angela agrees: “I think it’s incredibly sexy seeing Bradford with another man. Visually I like seeing how tender and soft two guys are together because normally you see guys as the aggressor and as masculine, this way you get to see different side and it's really erotic."

Do we need to rethink monogamy? Take a listen to the Prude and the Pornstar.

The only rule the couple have for each other is safe sex at all times. They are happy to sleep with and date other people separately or together, and they both like to party at the Sydney Swingers club 'Our Secret Spot'.

The couple have now started a website, blog and podcast called Bythebi to help other bi people to come out and to get bi-couples accepted by the greater community.

“There’s lots of information out there about swinging and open relationships but not so much about the bi-sexuality side, so we wanted to have a forum to get it out there," Angela says.

Bradford added that he believes it's "incredibly hot" watching his wife having sex with another man. Image supplied.

Since launching the website they have received hundreds of emails from around the world asking about open relationships and sexual fluidity in a relationship.

“Most people who contact are us are confused and just want someone to talk to who isn’t going to judge, someone who has been there and can share their experience and give them some ideas,” Angela says.

So what advice would they give to someone who wants to try an open relationship?

“Communication is the key. Talk about everything, don’t hide anything, don’t rush into anything, talk to your partner about both your expectations and boundaries and share with your partner your wants and likes. One of the biggest problems all couples have is a lack of communication. Don’t assume that just because you’ve been married for 10 years that you know what the other person is thinking or feeling.”

Finally what do they say to people who claim they just want their cake and to eat it too?

Bradford: “Well what’s wrong with that?”
Angela: “Of course, it's delicious!”

You can check out their website and podcast at www.bythebi.com.au. (link may be NSFW)

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