Last week, three other STI+ women and I decided to start a hashtag campaign to destigmatize STIs. It is STI Awareness Month, after all.
Blogger and anti-stigma activist Ella Dawson, writer and activist Lachrista Greco, social work student Kayla Axelrod, and I decided to use the hashtag #ShoutYourStatus as a way for STI+ people to shatter stigma and not feel ashamed.
It was also a place for us to provide education about STIs — like the fact that two out of three people have the HSV-1 strand of the herpes virus (and half of all new HSV-1 infections are genital infections from oral-to-genital contact), or that the CDC's report that most sexually active men and women will contract HPV during their lifetime.
I’ve been writing about stigmatized topics on the Internet for almost 10 years, so it’s never a surprise to me when I get pushback or face trolling or abuse for my opinions. I am a woman on the Internet, after all. Men love to tell me how stupid I am on a regular basis.
But what happened to me (and all of us, really) when we dared to be unashamed of our STI+ status was truly horrific and appalling.
The stigma that comes with admitting you have an STI is unlike the stigma that comes with almost anything else. Rooted in sex-shaming and puritanical ideals, it’s largely ignored by the reproductive justice community, as well as the body acceptance community — despite encompassing both of those things.
If you have an STI, you receive the message that you are unloveable, unfuckable, dirty, and diseased. You are told that your love life is effectively over, that no one will ever want you.
Those messages are neither OK to perpetuate, nor true.
As the above study shows, there are more people are living with STIs than without. Most people with STIs aren't even aware that anything's amiss — many, many people are asymptomatic.
And then there's the “fun” fact that herpes isn’t even on the standard STI panel. If you’re not having symptoms and you go into the doctor and ask to be tested “for everything,” you will not be tested for herpes.
This means you may never know you have it — but you can still pass it on to a partner.
And yet, we “other” those of us living with STIs. In many cases, people get less shit for admitting they've had an abortion than they get for admitting they have a sexually-transmitted infection — even though one look at the difference in participation between #ShoutYourAbortion and #ShoutYourStatus makes it clear that those who've had an abortion and those who have an STI are roughly equal in number.