Before actually being a parent, I had these grand plans and expectations that motherhood would just come really naturally – that it would be this pure and organic experience that would just wash over me.
I imagined I’d be some plant-based eco super mum who spent her days engaged with her child, educating them, taking them to music class, hippie playgroups, giving them my undivided attention, never putting them in front of a screen and of course I’d not return to work until they at least started school.
I placed this ideal on myself of what a ‘perfect parent’ was and set out these expectations.
Then I actually had kids…
I mean sure, that might be a reality for some, but I soon realised that these ideas and expectations I had placed on myself about being the ‘perfect parent’ were absolute bulls*$t and trying to pretend or trying to impress people is a one way ticket to sad town – for both mum and baby.
Honestly, motherhood doesn’t always come naturally for me. And while I love the shit out of my kids, I still want and need things for myself, and that’s more than okay.
I don’t always wanna hangout with my kids, and play games day-in, day-out. Sometimes I’d just rather sit down, check my phone, catch up on the news or enjoy a hot coffee.
I can’t really be bothered making special food for the kids. They can eat out of a packet or just eat what we’re eating.
I get sick of the whinging and whining. They can just watch some TV so I can have some peace.
I cannot be bothered washing and folding a million piles of laundry. So we pick wrinkled clothes off the dining room table.
I want to go to work, contribute financially, and further my career. So my kids go to daycare.
I enjoy a glass of wine or a beer at the end of the day. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
And none of that makes me a bad mum. It all makes me a better mum for admitting and acknowledging these things, doing something for me and throwing away the guilt. I have worked out what works for our family and found confidence in my ability as a mother.
Some days I don’t always enjoy being a mum. It can be bloody hard, it can be exhausting, it can be boring, it can be stressful, it can be monotonous and it can be isolating.
Taking time for me is just as important as making sure my family is happy. We’ve all heard the saying “you cannot fill from an empty cup”. Well how can you expect everyone around you to be happy pigs in sh*t when you’re a miserable cow who never does anything for herself?
Sure, people will comment and judge, call me selfish and a bad mother. But part of finding my feet as a mum has been shutting out those opinions and negativity from people who are in no doubt miserable in their own lives if they feel they need to comment on mine.
My kids are happy, they are loved and they want for nothing. So worry less about what I’m doing and more about yourself…