dating

"I had to pay for my own birthday drinks." 5 women share how the bill was paid on a first date.

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Nothing sucks the life out of a first date faster than a tussle over who is going to pick up the bill.

There’s the awkward shuffle of someone scrambling for their wallet (or not offering to pay at all), and if the date doesn’t go to plan you’d much rather be planning your escape than swapping bank details.

It’s an issue that also spills over into family gatherings and friendly dinners – how do you go about swapping around the funds without having to get out a calculator and trade passive-aggressive messages back and forth?

Thankfully there are nifty solutions to tidy up these modern-day dilemmas. Beem It is the best out there – it’s a really easy money-sharing app that lets you instantly send and receive money using your phone. The app helps you calculate who-owes-what, allowing you to pay, transfer, request, split or group expense. It’s had more than a million downloads, so chances are someone you know has it as their go-to digital wallet.

Shall we split the bill? No awkwardness with Beem It. Image: Mamamia.

However, without an app, things don't always go this smoothly. We asked five women to share their stories of splitting the bill on a first date... and just wow.

Jessica

I was once on this pretty naff date from [dating app] Hinge. There wasn't much chemistry between us and he just spoke about himself and mansplained coffee to me for two hours. Eventually, I called it quits and made up an excuse to leave.

I asked the bartender for the bill and when it arrived he looked at me and said 'If you get this one, I'll get the next date'.

We had a few rounds of cocktails so the total was roughly $80, also he had ordered more drinks than I did. This would have been fine but I did not intend to see him again and didn't want to be out $80 for what was already a very boring date.

I was pretty taken aback, and tipsy, so I kind of just tapped my card and left in a huff. I think he could tell that I was annoyed and eventually texted me to 'split the bill', which we did.

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I do take responsibility for not saying no at the time, but the bartender was there and it would have been so awkward being like: '"I don't really want to see you again, sorry".

Sarah-Jane

Whether it's with a guy or a girl, I always offer to go halves on a first date. But then a few weeks ago, I met up with this guy I'd been flirting with for months for dinner and drinks.

It quickly became apparent that our "waiting for coffee" banter was as good as it was going to get, but still, I decided to stick the night out and be pleasant.

Things went from bad to worse when I told him I was allergic to peanuts and he ordered a dish with them anyway (he said I could eat around them) and an expensive bottle of red wine even though I said I didn't want anymore to drink, he insisted on paying and since he'd gone so over the top, I let him.

A few days later he messaged me to grab a drink and I politely said no. He then sent me a picture of the receipt (I had no idea he had kept it) from our dinner and said he'd appreciate it if I would reimburse him for half, which was nearly $100.

He continued to message me for a week and I've never set foot in that coffee shop where we met again.

Lydia

I went on a first date that just happened to be on my birthday. I didn't tell the guy as it was a weeknight and it wasn't like I wanted to celebrate it with him, so we were just taking it in turns to buy rounds of drinks.

After a few wines, I ended up telling him that it was in fact my birthday, so he made a song and dance about it in front of the barman and ordered us some bubbles. Then reminded me it was my round, so I had to pay for my own 'birthday bubbles'...

Emma

I have a pretty nifty trick for first dates. If I don't want to see the person again then I happily let them pay the bill, it gives a solid end to our transaction. If I do want to see the person again then I offer to go halves or even try and pick up the tab myself, that way it gives the guy more incentive to ask me out again, an 'I'll get this one' type vibe.

With the guy I'm seeing now I paid on our first date and he thought it was really sweet, he gave me a bottle of wine when he came to pick me up for our second date to say thank you. Sometimes it works out.

Isobel

I would assume the guy pays but when the bill comes you should always do the feign to grab your card/wallet from your bag and wait for them to say "I've got it'".

I went on a date with this guy and it was quite nice. We went just for drinks, and it was all lovely and fine but then at the end he offered to pay. I also offered but he insisted.

He then made a joke about how there was nothing left in his account after that and it was really awkward for both of us.

Avoid the awkwardness with Beem It - download it for free now.

How do you like to split the bill on a first date?

Feature image: Getty.

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Beem It app allows you to send & receive money using your phone instantly. Easy, secure & free to download, it’s the smarter way to move money. Beem It is owned by Commonwealth Bank, NAB & Westpac.

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