Cluttered night stands and checkered sheets: What your bedroom really says about your sex life.

We can tell a lot about a person by looking at their bedroom – but more broadly, we can tell a lot about their sex life.

Whilst a few of us may use sex as an opportunity to transcend the person we are day-to-day, most people remain the same between the sheets.

When clients join me in session we’ll often discuss what turns them on and off, and many will mention how their bedrooms create or hinder their context for desire and can really affect a sexual experience. I’ve noticed a few themes over the years and how certain sexual styles can be reflected in their bedroom style. 

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It’s also worth noting that human sexuality is vast! Whilst we can look at a few common traits, literally everyone is different.

But, back to those common traits... Scroll through these and see which bedroom style you identify with most. 

Squeaky Clean

Our self-proclaimed clean queens! 

Their room is immaculate, the bed is always made, the blinds are free from dust, and they have a perfectly curated bedside table. Their room is always perfect, and this sparks real joy. 


As a sexual person, they’re likely to want a shower or ask their partner/s to shower before they have sex, they’ll have all their toys charged, clean and ready to go, they have their favorite lube, and they really know how to curate a great sexual experience. They may struggle with staying present (especially if the room is untidy) – they’ll often admit that everything needs to be in order for them to relax and fully enjoy sex.

Pure Chaos 

Maybe it’s a floordrobe, maybe the washing basket is piling up, maybe the bedside table has a squillion cups, but they’re guaranteed to have a room full of colour and life – featuring random pieces they’ve collected over the years and it all kinda works. 

Our pure chaos cuties don’t live life inside the lines or the bed sheets. They are perfectly fine with a bit of mess. Their approach to sex is the same. Some bodily fluids? Hot! Rolling around the room? Love it! Trying something new? They’ll try anything at least three times!

Sensual Space

Everything must ooze sensuality in this person's room. 

They have that Matisse blue nude print, incense burning, mood lighting, a textured rug, a whole drawer dedicated to their toys and sensory items, or a massive box of goodies under the bed. They are curious, playful and explorative and sensuality is a part of their identity. They're partial to an eye gaze, but love whipping out a blindfold to really get them into their own body.  

Green Queen

We love an environmental warrior. Our green queens have thrifted every piece of furniture, they’re a regular on Facebook Marketplace, and are really conscious of everything they bring into their homes. It’s likely they’re keeping things simple to limit landfill. They’ve got a minimum of 50 house plants that they’ve named and speak to each morning and the room feels like an oasis. 


When it comes to sex, they may typically like to keep things natural – opting for a ‘natural’ lube like coconut oil. But dear god put the tub away as it can disrupt the healthy vaginal flora! If you must, use coconut oil as a massage oil (externally only!). There are so many great natural and body safe lubes on the market!

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The Minimalist

Bed (no headboard) a bedside table and maybe a lamp – they want to keep it simple. And their approach to sex may be the same. They may not be into tools or toys because they think their hands can do the job, and adding too much stimulation may be overwhelming. Keeping it minimal helps them concentrate, stay present and focus on pleasure.  

Serious Stuff

Their room is perfectly curated, everything matches, the colour theme is strong. It kinda looks like their room is straight off a homewares website – think this gorgeous linen bedroom set from Luxo Living. 

When my clients speak about their taste in this way, they also identify they find it challenging to do things differently – they have a very particular understanding of sex, they know what they like and that’s what they’re into. And I’m mean, good for you! It’s really exciting when people know what they want. There may come a time when you want to start exploring new things. However, if you’ve found your thing and it’s working for you, then stick with it!

 Feature Image: Mamamia. 

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