Okay, guys, we never thought we’d say this, but…
This really needs to be a Bachelor/ette free Celeb in 5 today, okay? We are still emotionally raw and all Bachelor-ed out. We repeat: ALL BACHELOR-ED OUT.
Ahem. On with the show….
1. The, um, ‘unique’ baby name that Chris Judd wouldn’t let Bec use for their children.
I named my latest pink, quilted velvet design for @adairs ‘Ophelia’. After Billie, if we ever had another daughter, that’s what I wanted to call her. My husband said, “No waaaaaaay are we calling our daughter anything that starts with the sounds ‘Oh’ ‘Feel’ ????????????” Alas, we had two more sons and here she is on my bed instead. Also available in ruby red. Shop the link in my profile.
Bec Judd is not the only parent who has some unfulfilled hopes for her children’s names.
Posting on Instagram, Judd said that if she ever had another daughter, her heart was set on Ophelia. Perhaps not-so surprisingly, that was quickly shut down by her husband Chris.
“My husband said, “No waaaaaaay are we calling our daughter anything that starts with the sounds ‘Oh’ ‘Feel’,” she wrote.
So, naturally, the radio host and presenter has named her bed quilt after one of the names on her list. Because of course.
We adore you Bec, but, uh… good call Chris. Very good call.
2. Don’t panic, but your favourite Broadchurch star will succeed Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth II on The Crown.
'Tis time to say goodbye to Claire Foy as the Queen in Netflix's hit series, The Crown.
After the series creator, Peter Morgan, told Variety of their intent to replace all current actors to portray the next 20 years of royal life, question marks have surrounded who will take the Queen through season three and four.
In an announcement made today that person is Olivia Coleman.
Coleman, who has starred in Broadchurch and Murder on the Orient Express, is enlisted to be the Queen during her middle age.
"You can't ask someone to act middle-aged," the creator, Morgan, said. "Someone has to bring their own fatigue to it. The feelings we all have as 50-year-olds are different than the feelings we all have as 30-year-olds. That informs everything we do."
It has still not been announced who will replace Matt Smith as Prince Philip.
3. Anna Wintour went on James Corden's TV show. Was quite legitimately forced to eat a burger.
There is nothing funny about force feeding. No one should have to eat anything they don't want to...
... except when you sign up for a public appearance that is known for making people eat weird sh*t.
Infamous Vogue Editor Anna Wintour found herself in this exact position, after making an appearance on The Late Late Show With James Corden.
In contrast with her usual buttoned-up persona, the woman responsible for making grown women - reportedly - cry joined Corden for his segment, Spill Your Guts, during which guests have to decide between answering an awkward question, or eating "gross stuff".
Curiously, most celebs have to eat grasshoppers, worms, and snails. But for the queen of magazines? Her biggest fear in life is 'eating fast food'.
No, seriously. We're not joking. Wintour's 'food punishment' was a burger. A burger.
CAN WE PLEASE EAT BURGERS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AS "PUNISHMENT" PLS? That isn't even "gross", that's called "the dream".
You can watch the full thing for yourself on YouTube.
4. The Block's Elyse and Josh just proved they're too smart for this planet.
Josh Barker and Elyse Knowles deserve a nice, loud round of applause. Not only have their renovation skills and eye for style made them favourites to take out The Block this Sunday, but they're also pretty much geniuses.
The couple have found a bloody smart way of capitalising on their reality TV appearance and potentially (read: definitely) making even more money out of their time spent covered in paint.
How? These clever cookies have put a house they previously renovated up for sale this week - the very same week of the finale - with the auction date set for November 18, just three weeks from now.
Click through the gallery to see their cool second reno...
Everyone who has no chance of purchasing their Blockhead Elsternwick home (expected to sell for more than $2.7 million) may find they can afford this one at 2 Lascelles St, Coburg, Victoria expected to sell for around $1.35-$1.45 million.
You know, if you've got a casual couple million to spare.
5. The next Kardashian-West baby could be with us way sooner than we all expected.
There's only one thing better than a new Kardashian baby, and that's when ALL OF THE KARDASHIAN babies are happening at the same exact time. It's like Christmas, except there's precisely nothing in it for us. Dammit.
As it currently stands, three of the five Kardashian sisters are believed to be expecting (if you believe Twitter, that is).
But while it was originally believed Kimye's - Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West for anyone behind the times - baby (or babies, if again, Twitter is to be believed) would arrive on planet
Kardashian Earth in early 2018, "sources" say that Baby Kimye #3 is due to make its debut before Christmas.
An "insider" told publication Us Weekly that the surrogate was "due before Christmas", with the baby's arrival set to coincide with the date the couple would finally move into the $20 million Hollywood Hills mansion they've been pimping for three years.
So as you're sipping your eggnog this Christmas, raise a glass to their surrogate, who could be pushing out two humans while we're all digging into our roast ham. Yum.
Cut the crap.