sex

The Block's Bec: "At eight weeks all I could think was, 'Have I lost another baby?'"

Bec writes about the difficulties she faced in her first trimester of pregnancy.

I’ve been upfront and honest about my struggle to get pregnant (and stay pregnant). It really wasn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. Now that I can finally say I’m pregnant and past the first 12 weeks, I can honestly tell you my first trimester was just as hard.

I am just over 17 weeks now and have a serious belly situation going on.

I had a full day of filming my first ‘Style with Bec series’ for Adairs and whileI  getting my hair done, I asked George to grab me some of the breakfast. As soon as he handed me my usual favourite fetta and avocado toast, I threw up. Everywhere. I thought maybe it was just my nerves. I was fine the rest of the day but the following few days was convinced I had gastro, so I booked in to see my doctor.

The morning of my appointment, I woke up at 3am and could not stop vomiting. I was weak, sweating and just felt terrible. I was sitting there with my head in a bucket and it crossed my mind that I very well could be pregnant. We got to the doctors, he did a test and I sure was!

Excited but still feeling slightly like death, George and I went home with smiles on our faces but both agreed not to tell a soul. In the back of both our minds was the miscarriages I had experienced previously. The difference this time was as the weeks progressed I just got more and more ill.

"The difference this time was as the weeks progressed I just got more and more ill."

First I was on the couch most of the day and night, trying to eat and drink. Then I started to feel tight in my neck and back and thought I would be much better off in my bed. Once I went up those stairs, I didn't come down for weeks. It got to a point where I was vomiting non-stop and couldn’t keep anything down.

Poor George just didn’t know what to do with him self. I couldn’t eat, move or shower on my own. I hadn’t realised until later but two days had passed with no water or food. I had also at this stage put my back out and officially sprained my neck from vomiting.

One day, George came home to me lying on the floor unconscious.

It was one on the scariest things because all I remember was trying to get up and not being able to move. I closed my eyes and all I could see was white dots everywhere. I could hear him screaming but it just all sounded muffled.

The ambulance was called and I was rushed to emergency. I was eight weeks pregnant at this stage and all I could think was I had lost another baby.

Panic mode had set in. 'Please no, not again,' I thought. The nurses said I was so dehydrated that they couldn’t even get blood to check if I was in fact, still pregnant. They tried to take blood from my arms, hands, even feet, but no success. I had a little blood in my urine and immediately thought the worst. 'This was it, it was too late... why is this happening to me?'

"I was 8 weeks pregnant at this stage and all I could think was I had lost another baby."

We had an amazing doctor who could see the stress in our eyes and got the drip happening straight away and said he would be back in half an hour with the ultrasound machine. I started to feel better. Still weak but definitely better with some fluids entering my body. When he returned with the machine all I could do was close my eyes. I didn’t want to look.

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Then I heard it. It sounded like someone softly knocking on the door. For the first time my baby’s heartbeat, strong and fast exactly what it was meant to be for its age.

The doctor told me to open my eyes and it was there on the screen. I have never such an overwhelming feeling of relief and I just cried. I couldn’t stop. My dad walked in the door and it was a moment that I think he will never forget. He was relieved (not knowing I was pregnant) that I was okay. He saw his grandchild on the screen for the first time and was overjoyed.

The doctor said the baby is perfect, the right size, moving around and the heart beat was spot on. He explained that I was suffering from ‘Hyperemesis Gravdarum’ or in terms everyone understands ‘Severe Morning Sickness.’ I needed strict bed rest and even if I couldn’t stomach food I absolutely had to keep sipping fluids. I was discharged the next day. I ended up back in hospital twice over the next few weeks. But at least I knew what was happening.

I finally reached 12 weeks and one day I woke up feeling better. It's eased off since then. I was worried I would be suffering from this condition for the remainder of my pregnancy. But it looks like I am one of the lucky ones who got to 14 weeks and felt fine. My new thing is just falling asleep mid-sentence. I am hoping that this will also pass.

My first trimester was terrible, aside from feeling like death I was emotional missing my mum and actually questioning if I had made a mistake. I went through a range of emotions (which are excessively heightened at the moment). I thought to myself, 'What have I done to experience such a hard time getting pregnant and now being pregnant?' But the truth is, nothing. I just had a unrealistic perception that pregnancy didn’t come with any symptoms.

Let me tell you, the changes in my body haven’t been beautiful just yet. My breasts look like road maps, my nipples are so sensitive it hurts to wear a bra and the lower back pain has started. Don’t get me started on the bloating and gas. There a lot of changes that happen that no one tells you about. Now that my stomach has a small rounded bump and my symptoms are easing, I finally feel great but week to week a new symptom arises. I am embracing the changes and now that I am 17 weeks I cannot wait for my second trimester to really kick in, as I have heard it is the best one.

I will be sharing as much as I can over the coming months of my pregnancy, as I believe that the one of the ways we can be strong as women is to be educated about the experiences of other women.

Did you experience morning sickness?

This post originally appeared on Bec Marks The Spot. You can follow Bec and her partner George on Facebook and Instagram.

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