reality tv

Mamamia recaps the Beauty and the Geek finale: THE MOST DESERVING WINNERS.

To catch up on all the Beauty and the Geek recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia's recaps, and visit our Beauty and the Geek hub page.

IT'S BEEN FOUR WEEKS OF WHOLESOME FUN BUT WE'VE REACHED THE END.

Soon, Australian reality TV will be back to throwing fruit bowls and villain edits.

It was nice while it lasted.

The last blondes and geeks standing are each reminiscing on their ~journeys~ while Sophie prepares her best challenge yet. Or so she thinks. Personally, I've never moved past that time Sam told his crazy story of going out with the lads and waking up hungover on live radio.

OH MY GOD SHE WASN'T LYING.

Very hot men without shirts are dancing and suddenly, Sophie descends from above on a goddamn unicorn.

THEY ARE GOING TO PERFORM IN MAGIC MIKE LIVE.

So many moods. Image: Nine.

As someone who has... been to Magic Mike Live and... enjoyed that scene where 'Mike' and the 'random audience member who happens to be a spectacular dancer' get very wet while humping in the fake rain... 

BUCKLE IN MATES THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

They will be judged by their fellow contestants, which means we get to see all our old pals again, including my favourite hype gal Leticia, who I know is going to FROTH this. So many positives!

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Josie and George have a few advantages for this challenge: Josie is a dancer, and they're actually into each other. Alex and Eliza make a clever decision to be themselves and a bit silly with it, while Lachy and Eliza struggle with the choreography and with feeling self-conscious.

Ok no, this challenge is so hard.

The eliminated couples are back to watch it all, and holy shit they gave the eliminated geeks their makeovers!!! That explains Jackson's thirst traps on Instagram!!

Alex and Eliza are up first, and it's wonderfully lame. 

Less sexy and more... finger guns, but their personalities shine through and I love them with my whole heart.

Next up is Kiera and Lachy. We all recall Lachlan's star jumps, right? So this will truly be... something.

Some of it looks a little like when two cats are in a standoff:

*angry cat hiss* Image: Nine.

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But otherwise YASSS LOOK AT THEM GO. There are no awkward baby giraffe star jumps in sight!

They finish, and kind of just... sob into each other's arms. 

BLESS. THESE. TWO. SO. MUCH.

Josie and George are last and HOLY HECK.

THIS IS STEAMY AS HELL.

I... almost feel like we need to all look away.

While they're pashing in the fake rain, I need to draw your attention to something else.

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Petition for Leticia and Aira to follow me around and hype me up in my everyday life because LOOK AT THEM:


ABSOLUTELY. Image: Nine.
LIVING. Image: Nine.

FOR. Image: Nine.

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THIS. Image: Nine.

SUCH PASSION. SUCH SUPPORT.

After cold showers, probably, the top three pairs get to work on the pitches to their fellow contestants about why they should be the show's winners.

George says he was directionless and at rock bottom before the show and has found direction, confidence and a real connection with Josie, and Lachy and Kiera agree the whole thing has been life-changing.

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I'm sorry, but I really didn't expect to spend entire episodes of a reality TV show sobbing when I agreed to recap this???

Alex has written part of his pitch, and as Eliza reads it out loud they both start crying.

AND SO DO I, OBVIOUSLY. MY EYES ARE LIKE TAPS.

There's no time to dry them, and literally no point either, because it's pitch delivery time and Alex and Eliza are up first.

Image: Nine.

They talk about going from disconnected strangers to best mates and a usually stone cold Eliza cries in front of multiple people when recounting how she's found self-worth. 

*ugly cries*

Josie and George are next, and I'm highly distracted by Josie's dress hanger strap thingy. 

SORRY IT'S JUST A BIT OF A MOOD KILLER.

Thankfully, with the magic of television, it disappears and Josie speaks about how different George is to the people she's invested her time into in the past. George says if they won, he'd use the $100k to move to Sydney. 

Image: Nine.

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Like... I get moving is expensive. And I am unfortunate enough to have a vested interest in Sydney rent prices. But dude??? Think of all the Dungeons and Dragons merch (is that a thing?) you could buy with that cash??

Finally, it's Lachy and Kiera's time.

Lachy recalls his journey of hiding behind his professionalism and 'work' confidence and not knowing what it feels like to be loved and treated well, to feeling genuinely confident, loved and cared for thanks to his journey with Josie first, and then Kiera.

TYPING THROUGH THE TEARS. Image: Nine.

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Absolutely no one watching this right now is not crying!!! It's not possible!!!

Kiera says she has spent her life partying to distract her from feelings of not being good enough, but lil Lachy has come into her life and taught her so much.

It suddenly seems so obvious. 

I mean... THEY HAVE TO WIN RIGHT????????

It's time for the other teams to deliberate.

There's lots of mysterious "they've made so much progress", "they've formed such a bond" etc. and WE GET IT, YOU ARE BUILDING SUSPENSE, BUT WHO ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?

Oh.

My.

God.

They're really dragging this out, aren't they?

OKAY. FINALLY. 

IT'S TIME.

With an "overwhelming majority" of votes the winners are...

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LACHLAN AND KIERA!!!!

Image: Nine.

Yessssss.

That's the right decision.

They're crying. The rest of the teams are crying. Sophie's crying. WE ARE ALL CRYING OKAY.

Asked how they're feeling, Lachy has a Bathurst analogy. I don't get it but I assume it means he's pleased.

He starts doing baby giraffe star jumps again, and just like that it's over.

Image: Nine.

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Bless the wholesome goodness of this show. We need more like it.

I MISS ALL MY GEEKY TV FRIENDS ALREADY.

Catch up on Mamamia's Beauty and the Geek recaps:

Feature image: Nine.

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