I know as much about wedding style trends as my mum knows about memes (or as she calls them, mem-ez).
Literally, not one single thing.
I’ve never searched ‘weddings’ on Pinterest, and I have extremely poor attention to detail. If you had a chalkboard at your wedding, I most definitely didn’t notice it.
Monique Bowley, Holly Wainwright and I discuss the wedding trends we can’t stand on this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
But this week I came across an article in Vogue titled, 14 Wedding Trends to Avoid in 2017: Flower Crowns, Food Trucks, and More.
Firstly, the term ‘food truck’ makes me both hungry and excited.
Secondly, I couldn’t name 14 wedding trends if I tried.
And thirdly, I am nowhere near being engaged/ I don’t even know if I’ll get married, and I already know I’m doing it wrong.
Vogue is going to f*cking hate my wedding.
Here are the 14 things they advise we avoid this year at all costs.
- Naming your drinks. I didn’t know this was a thing, but apparently couples invent a drink for their wedding, like the ‘Jessitita’ or ‘Jessitini’. Vogue says it’s dated, I say take any opportunity in life to employ a witty pun.
- Family style dinners. No passing around food platters and making it hard work for the guests. Instead, Vogue is all about “plated elegance”. We’re all about “we will eat whatever you give us for free.”
- The multicourse dinner. On the subject of food, 11 courses that go on and on is apparently very 2016. Guests want fewer meals that will actually fill them up. Again, any and all food is fine by us.
- Rustic and boho-themed weddings. This means rustic elements like wood slices, teepees, feathers, arrows and dream catchers, are all on their way out.