kids

Confessions of real-life bad mums.

Village Roadshow
Thanks to our brand partner, Village Roadshow

If social media is to be believed, the world is full of perfect mothers. We’re all busy baking healthy lunchbox treats for school, we’re ironing our designer baby clothes each day and their rooms, just like a page out of a stylist’s catalogue.

But let’s be real here, we can’t all be perfect all the time. In fact, most days I feel like I’m walking a fine line but it’s time we celebrated our mediocre moments of motherhood because we all have them. I’m calling bullshit on all the filter-adding, flat-lay creating, spotless children of the Instagram world.

My reaction when I see those fake perfect Instagram posts. Image: Giphy.

Sure, the time you hosed your child off in the backyard because you didn’t want them getting finger paint all over the furniture might not best depict your parenting prowess, but it happened and it’s all part of the journey that is parenting. C’mon it’s a hard gig and we all cut corners every now and then when it comes to getting through the day.

My motto has, and always will be, just do whatever works. As long as they're fed, warm and safe, that’s all you’ve got to worry about.

I’ll go first. My third child is on the move and ready to explore her world. That means of course that an awful lot of floor junk goes in the mouth. Sometimes I pretend I didn’t see it and wonder if I still need to feed her lunch.

Keyboard warriors at the ready, here are some of the best ‘bad mum’ moments from ladies in the Mamamia office:

“Without fail every year I get a letter about the school bake stall and every single year I’m buying something from the supermarket on the day and discarding the packaging to make it look like I’ve been up all night baking.”

stranger things winona

It's exhausting sometimes okay? Image: Giphy.

“My husband travels a lot for work. During this time, it’s exhausting. My kids have pajama day which they think is really exciting and special but it’s actually just that I can’t be bothered dressing them.”

“I decant baby food in to Tupperware containers to make it look like I’ve pureed my own healthy meals. Not true.”

“Yep, I don’t bathe the kids every day. I wash their faces. That’s it.”

“My son once told me he needed to go to the toilet while we were driving. I thought he meant he needed to wee so I pulled over and told him to go on a weed on someone’s driveway (he was practicing with his aim). I got out of there quick smart when he left a pile of turd smack bang in the middle of the path.”

“I pretended that I didn’t know my child had a runny nose when he went to stay with my mother-in-law. It was my pay back for the time she gave us all gastro because she ‘thought she was out of the woods’ and didn’t want to miss an opportunity for grandson cuddles.”

“Tell me I’m not the only mother who ever threw a towel over the wet bed and went back to sleep?”

"I got out of there quick smart when he left a pile of turd smack bang in the middle of the path.” Image: Giphy.

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“I play hide and seek with my kids and go hide in the car. I can see them from where the car is parked but I get a solid 10 minutes of peace and quiet. Then, when they walk in to the other end of the house, I reappear and pretend I was hiding behind the curtain the whole time.”

“I’ve wiped snot on more items of clothing than I care to admit.”

“I pretend my dryer is broken so I don’t have to volunteer for any of the preschool laundry.”

“My child once fell over and hurt his arm. He is extremely dramatic and I didn’t think it was that bad. Two days later he was still complaining. I took him to the doctor expecting him to tell me it was fine. Turns out he had actually fractured his wrist. Oops.”

So there you have it, some of our best ‘bad mum’ moments (and these are the ones we’re happy to admit to!)

C’mon, your turn!

While we're at it, here are some of the best parenting moments from @averageparentproblems:

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