Romance is nice, but bro-mance? Yuck.
As much as we loved the first season of the The Bachelorette — and we did love it — there were a few times when the show was a little (a lot), well, boring.
The Bachelor is coloured by it’s over the top drama, it’s manufactured tension and it’s absurdly budget opulence, whereas its gender-flipped equivalent was inexplicably more beige.
Ignoring the show’s obvious budget constraints, a house of fourteen men competing for the affections of the incomparable Sam Frost should have delivered non-stop D R A M A, but all audiences got was a male model that was kind of a douche and Dave The Plumber looking occasionally perturbed.
It was just week after week of bros, bro-ing out with each other — and you know what’s to blame for that?
The bloody Bro Code.
The Bro Code was established in the very first episode and goes thusly: No Bro-chelor shall interrupt another Bro-chelor when he is having one-on-one time with the Bachelorette.
There was no snide remarks, no in-fighting, no pistols at dawn… I would have settled for fisty-cuffs, to be honest.
It was all politeness, back-patting, high-fives and feelings. NOTHING BUT TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS.
On The Bachelor the moment one of the contestants so much as sighs heavily the dramatic music kicks in, cameras zoom on sideways glances, someone delivers an agonising piece to camera.
But The Bachelorette had NONE of that. The men were always just sitting around in their terrible hats, in one episode they were playing chess. Chess! Watching men play chess, does not great television make.
In an interview with the Herald Sun today, winner Sasha Mielczarek revealed that despite what the producers would have us believe, things weren’t always as rosy as they seemed behind the scenes — at one point he even considered quitting the competition.
“I was really confused by the situation, halfway through (filming the show) I had a bit of a meltdown,” he confessed.
“They didn’t show it on TV but I said, ‘Hey, I need some help here, I don’t know what to do.’”
He wasn’t the only one of the men who had doubts or insecurities either, apparently lots of them got grumpy and threw little man-tanties from time to time.
But we didn’t see a thing!
It was just un-facts about fears of dying alone and fretting over giving every bloke a fair go to win Sammy’s affections.
And it was boring. So so boring.
We can’t wait for season 2, but you know what? I hope everyone stops being so gosh darned nice to each other so I can stop looking at my smart phone.
The MM Team chat bro-code and more in our special Bachie podcast: