Brett Moore was someone I had never seen before. Though he was apparently on Sophie Monk’s season of The Bachelorette, I’m choosing to call his entrance into Paradise on Sunday my official introduction to him, and to begin with, I had no issues. That is, until he opened his mouth and he said a string of words that rang so many bells my ears just about self-destructed.
It went a little something like this: “Steph and I have been ‘seeing each other’ for about a year now but I’m actually single.”
Brett spent 365 days just casually viewing Steph’s lovely face. To be clear, Australia, Brett is not exclusively with Steph. No, he just likes to look at her. So much so, he’s been doing it for 365 entire days.
My problem isn’t with people who aren’t relationship types of people. I get it. You’re attractive, young, wild, free etc. etc. Want to play the field? Go for it. Don’t want anything serious? Fine. But a whole year of spending time with someone signals to me otherwise. So, tell me: When did we start labelling every single stage leading up to an “exclusivity”?
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone say something along these lines. Before any of my taken friends entered into a relationship, there was a period of uncertainty that created apprehension for either one or both parties, also known as the “seeing each other” stage. It came right after a phase of casual dating and lingered on until someone posed the question of exclusivity.
But hold up, Osher, because even then, there’s no rose yet. After one would ask the other to be exclusive, they still weren’t officially a couple. There may be weeks, if not months of waiting. Twiddling thumbs until one of the two bit the bullet and asked the other to be their official girlfriend/boyfriend. How. Exhausting.
Someone, please, hand me a manual of some sort, ‘cause this stuff’s darn perplexing.
After consulting a few older couples, it seems to be a form of classification only younger people practice, and honestly, it’s probably one of the many sound reasons every other generation criticises us.