Oh dear. While some dudes might be envious of Australia’s most Aussie bloke, Richie, having 19 insanely attractive women throw themselves at him – I’m definitely not.
Because what’s the downside of 19 insanely attractive women throwing themselves at your schlong? Having to reject 18 of them, and then sending their rejected (sometimes angry/heartbroken) souls into a world where they are asked what you smell like.
Take last night’s rejectees, Mia (tall, tan, brunette) and Laura (one of the many blondes), for instance.
LISTEN: Did you hear our Bach Chat team covered the first, mind blowing premiere? (Post continues…)
Speaking to NW Online, Mia described Richie as “very different to what I usually go for”, adding she gets heart flutters for “someone who’s tall, dark and handsome” and that “[Richie] was the opposite of that”.
Richie’s a blondy, sure, but I dunno about being the opposite of tall and handsome.
Describing her group date with Richie as “really awkward”, the former NSW athlete says she really didn’t care about being sent home. In fact, when Vintaea walked out in the first episode, the now-student thought “Do I go with her?”.
“I was fine! I wasn’t really feeling it,” she told the publication. “And I don’t think Richie was really feeling it… There’s no hard feelings. I didn’t really mind. I was kind of ready at that point to go myself. There were no hard feelings.”
Laura also spoke to NW, and explained Richie’s stint on the 2015 Bachelorette made the experience feel “really regimental”.
"I wanted someone who you could just look at and go, 'We’ll get through this. It’s all good. I’m in the same boat.' I think he had a bit of an advantage, and it wasn’t as organic as I wanted it to feel.
"...He was a little bit like, 'Been here, done that…'”
Laura also said her first group date was lacking spark.
"I wasn’t loving it, Richie didn’t seem like he was in there," she explained. "I didn’t feel like I really wanted to be there anymore. I just didn’t feel like he was stimulating me at all. He just really wasn’t doing it for me.
"I called the camera over and said I wanted out. I told them that I just wasn’t into him. They asked, 'Do you think you’ll get a rose?' and I was like, 'Nah, I don’t really want a rose.'"
When it came to the rose ceremony, the Victorian project manager couldn't contain her laughter.
"I was pretty much laughing throughout the whole rose giving ceremony!
"I wanted to go out on a nice note, and I didn’t want to just walk out like Vintaea. I didn’t want to give the poor guy a heart attack!"
WATCH: Alex didn't wait to use her white rose. (Post continues...)
While Richie didn't tickle her heart strings ("I just didn’t feel like he was holistically as rounded in certain areas as I am"), some of her fellow lay-deez did.
"You couldn’t find a more mixed group of girls with such beautiful souls" she said, adding: "I actually wanted to date the girls!"
And as for the winner? Laura says Richie's dream partner is... well... himself.
"It’s just going to be Richie and a mirror."
"I think he’ll look at himself in the mirror and go, 'Thank you, Richie. I thought you’d never ask.' And that’s it! They’ll go off together and live happily ever after in TV land."
Wh0 do you think will win The Bachelor 2016?
Click through to see an updated gallery of who's still in contention for Richie's heart.