One of the biggest fears I had before becoming a parent was having a baby who didn’t sleep. So you can imagine my glee when my daughter started sleeping through from about six weeks old.
Yes, I was one of those smug bastards who happily announced to anyone who would listen, “My baby sleeps through”.
Naturally, when baby number two came around I had this sleep thing sorted. I would do all the same things, and once again we’d have a superstar sleeper just a few weeks in and I would once again be a smug bastard.
Well. Wasn’t I in for a shock to the system.
We did all the same things, implemented the same routines, and to start she seemed to be well on her way to sleeping through from an early age. Six hours, eight hours… YES! We were two for two. Smug City, b*tchh.
But then we hit a so-called ‘regression’ we’ve never appeared to recover from, and now 15 months in I’ve actually forgotten what it’s like to sleep an entire night.
Today was one of "those" ???? someone didn't wanna sleep at all last night ???? woke almost hourly till I brought her into our bed at 5am, to which she would set up camp diagonally across the bed ???? she isn't happy unless being held ???? dare even attempt to put her down, she will dig those claws in and scream bloody murder ???? actually put her down and the pause length before the actual scream is enough to make you pick her up before she even draws sound ???? (because the longer the pause the worse the cry fml) ???? I'd say it was teething, but I feel like I've been saying that daily for about 10 months ???? I think she's just like this ???? And of course the toddler decided she was going follow suit and grumbled and groaned all day because well #toddler ???? and I know, I know, you've gotta "enjoy the cuddles" and the "washing can wait" but fuck me looking at they pile of washing not putting itself away while I'm pinned under tiny dictators makes the eye twitch a little ????????♀️ #luckyyourcute There needs to be a delivery service that offers wine, coffee, ice cream, donuts, and tranquillisers for zombie parents with shitty sleepers and tantruming toddler for those days none of you are fit for public consumption ???????????? must be a #fullmoon ????