Some people think baby names are open for debate after the baby has been named.
Newsflash: they’re not.
Hearing that a friend or family member’s baby has been named something you don’t like, is the most harmless type of ‘uncomfortable’.
Too weird, too old-fashioned, too racy, too hard to pronounce, too boring, too modern, too difficult to spell…. All those thoughts might run through our heads upon hearing the name awarded to the latest cute little thing to enter the world. But of course, most of us would never actually articulate our displeasure out loud.
Most of us....
Minutes after my daughter was born a midwife asked, "What's her name?"
"Nancy", my husband and I said, lovingly gazing at our little possum. The midwife looked perplexed and asked what our daughter's middle name would be.
"Rose," we replied.
The midwife looked relieved and nodded, "Well, you can just call her by her middle name, then".
Listen: Rebecca Judd and Monique Bowley discuss the right to shotgun baby names on Hello Bump. Post continues...
One of my girlfriends announced her baby's name to her obstetrician - legs still in the air - when he muttered, "Ah ha, family obligations". Um, no. No obligation. She just liked the name.
Another girlfriend had a family member turn up to the maternity ward during visiting hours asking the family what the baby's REAL name was. Because the one she'd heard couldn't possibly be legit.
Personally, I like the old-fashioned names. So I'm not into names like, er, See-zar or, um, Ocean. But that doesn't mean I'd say that TO THEIR PARENTS.
In fact, I tend to go quite the opposite. To try and counter any negative vibes I go into 'enthusiasm overload' and say things like, "Oh, I just love her name! Agapantha Magapantha! So wonderfully floral!" Or, "so her whole name is Beth Friend? Oh, how positively gorgeous. So romantic!" And I give the poor little snuggle pot an extra little squeeze and wish them strength.
So here's the rule, people: The only time a baby's name is open for debate is BEFORE it's born. Bring it. Tell the parents-to-be all the reasons why you hate their proposed name.
"It was the name of the horrible child I sat next to in Grade Four who always had dried boogers stuck to her cheek".
"Hey! That's the name of the three-legged dog who lived next door to me. I hate it!".
"That's what my weirdo cousin called his freckle on the end of his big toe".
But once that little baby is bundled up and the midwife writes its name on the little pink or blue card and slides into the top of the plastic bed - it's a done deal.
Do you hate your friends' baby names? Have you told them? Did anyone tell you they didn't like your baby's names?