real life

The hipster cafe owners who secretly ran a disturbing, woman-hating sex blog.

“Sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap. She was also dumb as a f–king brick.”

Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens are the epitome of easy-going hipsters.

They own a hand brewed coffee shop and sell their own brand iced coffee. They live in a notoriously progressive neighborhood. Short of sporting top-buns, they dress the part as well.

Which is why it was particularly surprising when it was revealed that they were the men behind a truly disturbing “sex blog”.

Now, their business is in tatters, as are their reputations, and there’s a well-supported petition circulating to boycott their products.

Jared Rutledge (left) and Jacob Owens (right). Source: Instagram/Waking Life Espresso.

The two owners of Waking Life Espresso – in  Asheville, North Carolina – were recently revealed as Jay and Jay, the voices behind Holistic Game, a podcast that details their sexual escapades.

The pair belonged to what many referred to as the “Manosphere”, a collection of blogs that claim to teach men how to be professional pick-up artists.

According to Jezebel, the pair’s conversations in the podcast included jokes about sexually assaulting women, with one anecdote from Owens including, “It was still really fun because we had sex in the shower. Hospital sex is weird, when she’s drugged, it’s strange, but it’s really cool.”

Rutledge replied, “Could she give consent? Could she give consent, Jay?”

To which Owens replied, laughing, “Uh oh. That’s my bad. That is my bad.”

Jacob Owens. Source: Instagram/Waking Life Espresso.

In addition to a podcast, Rutledge also controlled a blog and Twitter account by the same name that detailed each of his sexual exploits.

“12. A. – Business – 7/8/4 – Played
Sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap. She was also dumb as a fucking brick. We fucked five or six times until she got feelings and couldn’t continue without monogamy. I wasn’t willing to be monogamous, so it ended. Moved away but still single to my knowledge.”

“21. L. – Social Circle – 6/7/5 – Bail

Friend of my brother’s, met her at a party. Dominant and masculine acting in public, sweet and submissive in private. She’d been abused as a child and has some real issues. I stopped seeing her because she talked about not wanting commitment, then started acting clingy and dramatic. She’s had a boyfriend for a year or so and it seems solid.”

And the Twitter account followed suit:

“I just fucked a plate in my garage next to my business. After telling her I wanted to stuff her socks in her mouth and fuck her stupid.”

Jared Rutledge. Source: Instagram/Waking Life Espresso.

Since being exposed by a blog called JaredandJacobsaid that aimed to hold the pair accountable to their actions, Owens and Rutledge have appeared to be incredibly remorseful.

In a post entitled “Jacob’s Apology”, Owens accepted responsibility for the podcast, and denied involvement in the blog or Twitter account.

“I would like to fully admit to what I have done. I would also like to receive the shame and necessary consequences for my actions. I am not hiding nor do I want to deflect. Most importantly, I would like to apologize and express my sorrow for how these actions have affected other people, and how their presence online will continue to do so.”

Rutledge, who appeared to have previously worked in cafes in Australia, also issued an individual apology, saying:

“I know I’ve said and posted a lot of things that are offensive. Most of my life I’ve struggled with insecurities around dating. I felt like, in the past couple years, that I’d finally gotten a handle on this and experienced more success. So I made a twitter, blog, and got Jacob to podcast with me.

So here we are. I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there’s not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made.”

Jared and Jacob. Source: Instagram/Waking Life Espresso.

The pair also vowed to donate all of their business profits to Rape Crisis Service and Sexual Assault Prevention group, Our Voice.


However, Our Voice have since issued a statement that details their refusal of any money from Rutledge and Owens:

“We were disturbed and outraged by what was posted by Jared and Jacob regarding women. We will not be taking their money because it is not our place to forgive. Our VOICE is not in a position of absolving them for their misogyny as it perpetuates a culture of danger to all women and girls. Jared’s and Jacob’s actions not only objectified women but also perpetuated rape culture and violence against women.”

Some of the women whose sexual experiences with Rutledge and Owens were detailed on the podcast or blog have since come forward, with one writing to Asheville Blog:

“I never spoke ill about the owner after the sexual experience but he did. He wrote in his blog nasty and horrible misogynist things about myself and other women. Now, I am in a loving and committed relationship with a wonderful man who loves and supports me for me. I first was angry and wanted to lash out, but now watching protests erupt and other wonderful men/women supporting women’s rights makes me feel better. This sexual “conquest” happened years ago and it makes me feel so much better that I have evolved into a whole human being who loves and supports others while the owners of Waking Life finally got exposed on who they are.”

Since being discovered, Owens and Rutledge opened their cafe to the public to answer questions, and have since closed it in order to “have some room for introspection” (in their own words).

But the damage is clearly done, and the disappointment that many of the progressive and forward-thinking locals from Asheville have in Rutledge and Owens is clear.

There is now a petition calling for businesses to boycott their iced coffee, and individuals to stop supporting Waking Life Espresso, “Our town does not support such people. This has been shown in the outcry of rage and hurt we have seen and by the people who gathered outside their place of business to protest.”

Asheville coffee owners misogyny blog
The petition to boycott Waking Life Espresso. Source:

Looks like you are on your own, Jay and Jay.

Do these men deserve to lose their business over their misogynistic blog?