Have you got ‘kidults’ that refuse to move out of home? Or perhaps your child is a nervous wreck, falling apart under pressure.
According to Michael Grose, it’s all your fault. Well, mostly.
His latest book The Spoonfed Generation accuses parents of doing too much for their kids.
All that bag-packing and steak-cutting has destroyed their independence. You’ve ruined them.
So when the parenting expert joined the This Glorious Mess podcast this week, it stirred a bit of a debate in the podcast studio.
Jo Abi, as regular listeners of the podcast will know, uses a tracking app to keep tabs on her family and thinks stalking her children is her God-given right. So Michael’s advice to back off and let them be independent didn’t sit well.
Holly Wainwright on the other hand, was hanging off Michael’s every word and taking notes on how she can turn her tiny dependants into well-adjusted kids, before it’s too late.
So what do you do when two mums disagree wildly on the best way to raise kids? You sit them down together and make them
fight talk it out. Let the battle begin…
Listen to the full interview with Michael Grose below, then read on to hear Holly and Jo’s very different thoughts on over-parenting.
HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: So, Jo, you and I had pretty different reactions to Michael’s advice about how to raise independent adults. He argues parents are doing way too much for their kids and turning them into anxious, ineffectual grown-ups.
You think that’s bullshit. Why?
JO ABI: I think it’s bullshit because his entire premise blames parents for raising fragile, anxious kids. That is total bullshit. Parents are victims of the expectations and demands of modern life which has left us with NO CHOICE but to parent the way in which we do.
HW: But he’s actually arguing about the generation of parents just above us, who are responsible for all the “kidults” we see around us. His point is that we should learn from their mistakes. Don’t you think he has a point?
JA: No, because generations of parents simply raise their kids in the way they need to based on the cultural expectations they are presented with at the time.
Parents don’t cause the problems, they are left to come up with solutions and ways to raise kids and get to work in order to fulfil expectations they had no say in establishing. Parents aren’t the ones who raised property prices, causing both parents to have to work, therefore have to get kids to school on time. Parents are the ones who decided that the school day starts at 8.30 and finishes at 3, but the work day is much longer…