reality tv

'I have a wild theory that Angie will pull a Blake Garvey and please let me have this.'

To catch up on all the Bachelorette Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelorette hub page.

Another year of The Bachelorette has finished, and spoiler alert: Angie picked Carlin. You can read our recap of the finale here.

I come to you with a very important Bachelorette theory based on the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Remember that time a man named Blake Garvey betrayed our trust by proposing to Sam Frost in his Bachelor finale… only to dump her after the show for third runner up Louise Pillidge?

That was a lot. So much, in fact, that ‘doing a Blake Garvey’ is now a thing we can say in Australia and everyone knows what we mean.

Angie Kent tells Mamamia what her relationship is like now. Post continues below video.

Video via Mamamia

Tonight marks the end of Angie Kent’s season as the Bachelorette, where we’ll find out whether she chooses Carlin (and his face) or sweet angel and fan-favourite Timm.

(I mean, we definitely already know who she picks and who she doesn’t pick, but…)

And look, we have a… sneaking suspicion we might find ourselves reliving a little piece of 2014, on account of Angie and Carlinher winner maybe, maybe not working out.

She could then end up with Ryan, who she was very upset over in last night’s cocktail party, or Timm, whose sunflower-loving heart is about to be crushed.

who does angie choose on the bachelorette
Angel
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Or... wait.

Remember our first beautiful long-haired love Ciarran?

Remember how we wept when he and his iconic wardrobe left the show after the death of his grandmother?

ciarran-stott
REMEMBER THIS? :'(

Remember how he told Angie to slide into his DMs if it doesn't work out with the other men?

Yeah well, we're clinging onto this idea for dear life and SHHH, WE HAVE IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE.

Firstly, isn't it a little weird that Angie's been so cagey about her relationship in interviews? She's never actually said she's with the winner.

It's all: "I'm happy," etc.

Suspicious. Like, Blake Garvey suspicious.

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Next, let us address a photo published by Yahoo Lifestyle of Carlin (and his face) in Fiji, otherwise known as the place where Bachelor in Paradise is filmed.

At first glance, it looked like Carlin didn't win and was hanging out for a second chance at finding reality TV love and we thought, nah, Network 10 is pulling our legs.

We assumed the network was trying to throw us off the scent, like it did when Ali's final two Taite and Todd were also photographed in Fiji the week before the 2018 finale.

But now, because that very inconveniently does not fit our current narrative, we believe Carlin is legitimately in Fiji, either for Paradise or because Neighbours is starting a tropical spin-off show.

And what does that mean for Angie and Ciarran? It means they're free to be together as the universe, and Osher, intended.

But what about the many paparazzi photos of Ciarran with other woman, or rumours of his own appearance on BIP, you ask?

They've all been planted. The photos, the rumours, the LIES. Every single one of them. PLANTED.

THEY DON'T WANT US TO BELIEVE IN THEIR LOVE.

Furthermore, Ciarran has been photographed nude at a Sydney beach. We don't know what this proves, but it seems important.

What more evidence can we give you?

None. The answer to that is none.

Is this a compelling theory? Yes.

It it based on actual fact? We'll leave that up to you.

Have I asked enough rhetorical questions? ...Maybe.

Hey, we need something to distract us from the fact that tonight we're going to see Angie break the heart of a wounded puppy in the form of another long-haired man with his mate's mum's name tattooed on his butt.

WE'RE SPIRALLING. LET US HAVE THIS.

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