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'He felt entitled.' This week, an intern was fired for turning up to work with AirPods.

 

Turning up to a new job is always nerve-wracking.

But turning up to new job when you’re the intern? Terrifying.

So imagine you’re there at the water cooler (because apparently, that is not just a thing that exists in American TV shows), minding your own business, probably hoping your boss doesn’t come over because, honestly, you are sh*t scared of them.

You have your headphones in.

Wait, no. Despite your intern status and serious lack of $$$, you have your Apple AirPods in. It’s 2019, man, and wires are surplus to requirements.

So far… no problem. Right?

But what if your boss is self-described LinkedIn influencer and AirPod hater Bart Vanderhorst?

Then you’re in real trouble.

Mr Bart, CEO of Vanderhorst Holdings, shared a post on LinkedIn this week berating one intern’s decision to wear AirPods in his office and explaining his decision to fire him.

bart vanderhorst
Bart, are you ok?
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Said intern is named Irwin, which means we as Aussies have an automatic affinity to him.

"Airpods are a right of passage," Bart's post said, in explaining why Irwin was fired. "You earn them. Would you show up to your new job with a nicer car than your boss? No!"

Now, some of the good people over on LinkedIn have called Bart out on his... frankly bizarre and embarrassing reaction to AirPods.

"Why get so angry over a pair of ear buds without wires?" office angel Kathy asked.

"Who said anyone was angry?" Bart replied. "I seldom let interns wear shoes in the office or take lunch breaks. They are lucky to be here.

"AirPods are reserved for my core team. Once you prove yourself to be a valuable asset on my team, then you can wear AirPods."

When someone named Chris made the very astute observation that if someone ever fired him for having a nicer car (or... ear buds) than theirs, it would say a lot about them. And none of it pleasant.

Bart responded to Chris to say that, thankfully, it would be nearly impossible to show up at his office with a nicer car than his.

"Being a leader is like being a comedian," Bart said. "Everyone thinks they can do it."

Then, he hit us with the weirdest "NEWSFLASH" we've ever seen.

"NEWSFLASH: If you can't handle the lawsuits and death threats, you wouldn't survive one day in a Maserati."

Bart, pls. We have so many questions.

  1. Are you real?
  2. Is this real?
  3. Does LinkedIn really need influencers?
  4. Who hurt you?

It's all very confusing and we're 99.99% sure it's satirical because... please?