real life

"Today, I received this letter at work."

I was sitting at one of Mamamia’s meeting tables, drinking a searing hot bowl of pho, when the big yellow envelope arrived.

“ATTN: MICHELLE ANDREWS,” the black letters emblazoned across the front read.

I tore away the seal, telling my colleagues, “I never receive letters in the mail!” like an excited eight-year-old.

When I pulled out the single sheet of A4 paper, I froze.

Each letter was cut out from a magazine and stuck down with glue. Someone had sat there, and individually crafted this slightly confusing and very menacing threat. And they'd sent it by post to me.

"You've had your day. Watch your back."

I'm sorry... what?

I looked up at Zara - one of our Melbourne news producers - in panic and confusion. Soon, the entire office had come over to see what the fuss was about.

"Who would send you something like that?" everyone asked me as I struggled to blink back tears and think about which potential psychopaths I'd upset recently.

"Have you written any controversial articles? Could you have offended anyone with something you've written?" Zara asked, scrolling through my author profile, scanning the headlines of my latest stories.

Pretty unlikely, I told the small group of women now peering at my crafty letter. After all, I'd just spent almost two weeks away from work, and had barely written a thing for Mamamia. Why? Oh, because I've been dealing with an awful bout of anxiety. Crippling 'I don't think I can leave the house today' anxiety. You know, the best, loveliest, fluffiest kind!

ADVERTISEMENT

Today was my second day back. Which made it not exactly an ideal time to receive an anonymous threat at work.

Listen: How Mia Freedman manages her anxiety. (Post continues...)

To make the situation worse, "Nugget" is a nickname my siblings and I used for each other growing up. Immediately, I messaged my brother and sisters in a group chat, sussing out if this was just a family prank gone wrong.

Nope. Not them.

Oh my god.

As I felt myself enter what I would call a tsunami of a panic attack - a reaaaal big one - and heard my coworkers tell each other to "not touch" the paper in case we needed to take it to a police station, a member of our sales team spotted an address on the back of the envelope, and began searching online.

A PR agency popped up on Google. This was a letter from a freaking PR AGENCY.

Oh yes, dear reader friends. I was sent a threat from a PR agency that wasn't really a threat at all. Actually, it was an advertisement for an upcoming website and a promotion encouraging restaurants to provide healthier food options to children.

ADVERTISEMENT

As someone who ate nuggets on Monday, and frequents the halls of McDonald's whenever I'm three wines deep, this revelation was both a huge relief and sacrilegious.

Yep. I was trolled by an ANTI-CHICKEN NUGGET ORGANISATION. And I wasn't the only one.

As the Gods of Chicken-Related Snacks would have it, a small slip from the PR agency telling me, "We'll be sending you more information shortly - stay tuned!" had become wedged inside the top corner of the envelope, only to be found 10 minutes into my breakdown. Brilliant.

I reached out to the PR agency, to tell them just how much their ploy upset me, for which they apologised and explained: "Our intention was to create intrigue."

That you did, guys. That you did.

Hours on, my neck sweat has dried but I'm still riled up - and not just because I am very firmly in Camp Nuggets. (Nuggets are forever.)

ADVERTISEMENT

Journalists receiving hate mail and threats isn't all that unusual. Being mocked and belittled online is something many of us deal with on the job. It's something that seeps into our everyday lives, and sees some of us leave.

But as a woman - a woman with anxiety? This PR stunt wasn't edgy or funny - it was actually really scary. I think any one who ventured into the Mamamia office today would have seen that.

The next time a PR agency tries to promote the wonders of broccoli, I hope they do it in a better way - preferably one that doesn't make my pho go cold.

You can follow Michelle Andrews on Facebook here.