This year would have been our 20-year wedding anniversary. And so, in honour of that, I want to write you a letter.
You couldn’t possibly have known 5 years ago how things would go once we divorced. Neither did I. From the moment I heard you tell me you thought you loved someone else until now, things have been a bit of a calamity. And yet, as I sit here writing this, I couldn’t be happier.
But there are things I need to tell you.
First, I don’t blame you for what happened.
Every marriage has its ups and downs and I’m not naive enough to blame everything that happened on you. We both had a part in the demise of our marriage – and for my part in that…I am sincerely sorry. All I can say is that…I did my very best to love you the best way I knew how.
I have no regrets on how vehemently I tried to save our marriage. And I’m lucky that I can sleep well knowing that I tried everything in my power to save us.
Second, there is never “one thing” that causes a marriage to fail.
And so, I understand that you falling in love with someone else was a symptom, not the sole reason that our marriage didn’t survive. Believe it or not, I’m so glad you have found someone you love; that makes you happy and can treat you well. I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world, and it makes me happy to know that you might have found someone who can be there for you.
Third, I’m happy being single.
I’ve heard you describe my life to the kids as an “endless parade” of Match.com dates. It’s really not, but here’s the deal.
I don’t introduce my dates to the kids because they’re not good enough. When I meet someone amazing? Someone worthy of our children and my life? I’ll finally introduce them. It took me a long time to find my balance after we split.
And for now, I’m so happy being happy that I don’t have room in my life for anyone else. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m “less” because I haven’t found “the one” right after we split. I may never find someone to settle down with…and for me, that’s okay. I’m happy conquering the world alone.