In case you missed it, love is absolutely and definitely dead because Andy Lee and his girlfriend of a year-and-a-half, Rebecca Harding, have split.
Did we mention Lee is now 35? Yep, 3-5. It’s just so… old. So old and so… 35.
We can’t possibly imagine HOW the 35-year-old star (did we mention he’s 35?) will recover from this brutal blow.
Sure, he’s got an insanely successful career.
And an amazing personality.
And a sense of humour that makes even the most vigilant kegel-exerciser pee her yoga pants.
And angular cheek bones that make mine look like jacket potatoes.
And a best friend who’s nicknamed after shaved deli meat.
And yes, he's got wonderfully floppy hair (although sources close to Lee tell me he has silver peeking through. These allegations are yet to be denied by his rep so I'm assuming they're completely true and will report on them without abandon).
But you know what Andy Lee doesn't have? A baby. He doesn't have a baby OR a wife.
Is he deaf? Doesn't he hear the tick-tick-tick in the background?
Doesn't he realise a pretty face and quick wit mean zilch when there's no screaming newborn explosively shitting its pants in the picture?
It's all very confusing - particularly given the three paparazzi shots we published last month of Lee in a teeny-tiny, barely-there bikini while he frolicked on the beach.
Remember when he stretched with his hands in an upward motion? Surely that rounded belly meant more than a big burrito lunch. Surely there's something he wasn't telling us.
Just like his rotund belly, which we expertly
photoshopped snapped while he was walking to brunch with his friend in May.
And when he was at a basketball game in January.
And at that charity ball in June 2012.
The mind boggles.
Andy Lee isn't a woman. Um. Sorry. Scrap all of that - he'll probably be just fine.
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