I don’t like to brag, but I am full of good ideas.
Once when I was a kid, I went ice skating and decided I really, really wanted an ice rink at home. So I got ice from the freezer and started placing it neatly on the kitchen floor. It didn’t work… but I’m sure it would have, had Mum not yelled at me and cleaned it up.
I’ve also dreamed up five apps that should definitely exist, like ‘Find my bobby pin,’ and an Uber for clothes swapping. While my ideas are yet to go viral, I’m expecting a call from Apple any day now.
But, you guys, I think I've had my greatest idea to date. And it can be summarised in four words:
ANDY. LEE. THE. BACHELOR.
While the radio host is yet to voice his interest on being on the show (it just hasn't occurred to him yet, probably), I thought I'd take this opportunity to explain to Channel 10 why he would make such a brilliant Bach. I mean, other than the fact that he's 35, his ovaries are drying up, he should be terrified of dying alone, his biological clock is loudly ticking in the background at all times, etc etc. (Ahem.)
Andy, who just so happens to be a former winner of Cleo magazine's Bachelor of the Year, really does meet each and every one of the criteria* for being The Bachelor.
*Note: These are not official criteria. They are just what I perceive to most definitely be the criteria.
Andy is hot AF.
I'm not being shallow, but attractiveness is clearly a prerequisite to being on the show, and anyone can see Andy is a really nice looking guy.
When it comes time for some lucky ladies to meet Andy's family, we're thinking he might make an unconventional choice.
Because HIS REAL FAMILY IS OBVIOUSLY HAMISH, ZOE AND SONNY. And Sonny would be the best judge of character Australian television has ever seen.