Are you sitting down? Quick, find a chair because I have some astonishing news. After marrying a music dude she’d met several weeks earlier, Peaches Geldof divorce to her husband after 6 months of marriage is hardly surprising.

Now, this is so predictable and silly I wouldn’t usually even bother mentioning it. But I’m making an exception in this case due to the inadvertantly hilarious joint statement the couple released about their split.

In a joint statement issued by Peaches’ spokesman, the couple said:

May I make two observations?

1. “After much soul-searching..” – ahahahahahahaa. Gee, they must have extremely shallow souls to have been able to search them so quickly. THEY WERE ONLY MARRIED 6 MONTHS!! Given that one would assume at least one of those months must have been, you know, wedded bliss, how much searching of their souls was their time for?

2. WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN TO STOP TATTOOING OTHER PEOPLE’S NAMES ON THEIR BODIES? : Especially people they have known for several weeks. WEEKS. Look at her wrist. Laser removal is going to hurt, Peaches, it’s going to hurt.