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Farewell dear American Alex, the only reason we were watching Bachelor in Paradise.

*Warning: thirsty post ahead*

There was something very strange going on in Bachelor in Paradise this season.

And no, it wasn’t the couple-swapping game of musical chairs that intensified 10-fold each episode.

It was sheer the lack of attention on Alex.

American Alex, we mean.

Known by his real birth name of Alex Bordyukov, from Season 13 of US The Bachelorette.

As in this fella:

The guy has one of those faces that make you feel as though you might spontaneously forget how to speak and maybe breathe if you look directly at him.

No, really.

LOOK:

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AND AGAIN IN SLOW-MO:

From day one in Fiji, the female contestants seemed more interested in Paddy and Nathan (!!!) than Alex, who not only looks like a Greek God but is lovely and normal and kind and sweet.

… By which we mean he hasn’t made any sleazy comments or picked random fights with people and GAVE BROOKE HIS JUMPER WHEN SHE WAS COLD.

Standards were… low, but seriously: What. Is. Going. On?!

Okay, yes, he did seem very hung up on Brooke for half the season, but we fail to understand why no other women (apart from intruder Zoe and later fellow American Caroline) seemed to try to get to know him.

And as he disappeared into the moonlight hand-in-hand with Caroline tonight, disappearing from our lives forever, we can’t help but lament the fact that HE BARELY HAD ANY SCREEN TIME.

It was very sad for him (us).

We the viewing public were not ready to see him sent home.

Behold, from the thirsty depths of Twitter:

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Farewell, American Alex, and on behalf of Australia: thank you.

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