“Be proud of yourself.”

To my dear friend,

Your first baby is walking now. What a milestone. You made it. You got through the baby stage and now you have a toddler.

You should be proud.

You got through it after a difficult labour. A labour that would leave most of us reeling. You were so strong. I remember hearing your birth story while I was pregnant with my second baby. Your story nearly had me signing up for another caesarean. But your strength simply shone and carried you through an experience that would break many others.

You got through it after struggling to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is so hard. They don’t tell you that while you’re pregnant with your first. All you hear is how good it is for baby, how lovely it is for mummy, and that it’s the most beneficial thing you can do. You don’t hear about low supply, or even about over supply. You don’t hear about flooding the baby. You don’t hear about cracked nipples, or mastitis or about just how damn long it takes to finish a single feed. But you stuck at it. You were nothing but determined.

And then, when I called you sobbing my heart out when my baby was just days old because I couldn’t breastfeed, you told me it would be okay. You were there for me in a way no one else was.

You got through it when your baby had asthma. Is there anything more frightening than seeing your baby seriously ill? I can’t imagine that there is. But you just got on with it. Yes, you cried. Yes, you worried. But you didn’t crumple in a heap on the floor. You managed.

You got through it when he stopped sleeping, well, really at all. And you still loved him. You felt guilty when you had to leave him crying for a spell for your own sanity. That’s not the mark of weakness. That’s the mark of great love. That love took you away from him to look after yourself so that you wouldn’t hurt him.

You got through it when your childcare centre complained about him crying. (Imagine, a baby that cried!) I was so cross for you. I was ready to call your centre manager myself and tell them off. But you saw their side of things. You understood. You were firm with them and let them know what you expected of them so they could care for your son. Whereas I just flew off the handle.

I’m so proud of you. You’re an amazing mum.

I hope you see what I see in you. A loving, generous woman. A mother with a heart of gold. A friend for the ages.

All my love,

Alys

Do you have a friend who is struggling and needs to be reminded that she's doing a good job?

Want more? Try:

Who knew being a mum is all about saying good-bye?

"I got kicked out of my mums' fitness group for losing too much weight."