This morning as I waited for my take-away coffee I couldn’t help but overhear a woman say something I have never heard before.
She was about 30, sitting by herself at a table staring at her iPhone. She was doing that thing where she continually looked up at nothing and then down at her phone. Then her friend came blustering in. Her hair, handbag and umbrella all going in different directions in her rush.
“Ooh. Sorry I’m late.”
I didn’t look up from the newspaper I was flicking through as I had heard that line so many times before.
“You’re always late.”
The friend wasn’t joking. The delivery was as steely as The Sydney Harbour bridge. I looked up. This was all going in an unexpected direction.
Holly Wainwright, Jessie Stephens and I argue about the politics of lateness on this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
“Well, I’m really late today. Sorry.”
That”s not going to help, I thought. The late-comer seemed very busy organising herself as she sat down and that’s why she must have missed the tone in her friend’s voice, who spoke again.
“Yeah. You’re always late.”
What? The truth and no vodka in sight.
Here was someone right in front of me telling it straight to her friend. Someone who didn’t say, “That’s okay. I had to catch up on some emails anyway … YADA YADA SEETHE YADA BIG HUGE SEETHE. How are you anyway?”
There are two types of people in the world. Forget all the versions of two types you have heard. The other “Two Types” are amateurs, just playing at this “Two Types” game. This is the only “Two Types” that matter.
Type I: Those who are on time.
Type II: Those who are always late.
And here are some questions for Type II.
When you are late ALL THE TIME, why do you keep doing it? Do you not see you are doing it? Why don’t you try to stop doing it?
Is it because you think your time is more valuable than other people’s (hello Madonna in her Melbourne concert – two hours late)?
Is it because you don’t think it’s a big deal to make other people wait for you, they should just take a chill pill and watch Avengers on their phone, you’ll be there at some stage?
Is it because you think a sorry text or a sorry in person, for the 1000th time, makes up for it?