Because the Earth is round and time is a flat circle, The Bachelor’s Alex and Richie have thrown us off the scent again, making fans DESPERATE to KNOW if they are STILL together.
I capitalise those random words for no real reason other than to illustrate HOW MUCH fans want to know and how much they like yelling about it. Because who said yelling at celebrities in the comment sections of their Instagram accounts wasn’t a hobby eh?!?!
Anyway. I digress.
Today is ex-Bachelor but maybe a Bachelor again Richie Strahan’s birthday.
And because your birthday only actually exists if your significant other publicly bids you a happy birthday on Instagram (and by that logic none of my last five birthdays ever happened – my boyfriend is a … dreamboat!), Alex Nation took to the platform to wish her boyfriend a happy birthday.
And oh my goodness, who knew something so innocent would cause so much turmoil and the need for
an investigative journalist me to break it all down.
This is what she said:
“Big Happy Birthday to this guy! To think it’s been a year since we were both submerged in Lindt chocolate together. What a ride! I’m proud of how far you have come and I can’t wait to see what you do next!”
The caption was accompanied by a photo of the couple at least a metre apart and followed by three emojis: a firework (is that a thing that can be singular?), a champagne bottle and… a fist pump. Like the one you do with your buddy-buddy.
My braaaaain. It huuuurts.
Fans were quick to dissect the post’s meaning too, because who has actual work to do on a Friday afternoon?