sex

"It’s just not that fascinating to [me]." The reality of being an adult virgin.

We’ve all thought a lot about virginity, because we’ve all been virgins.

But whether we start having sex early on or wait until a lot later, there’s no guidelines on when or even how (except with consent, always) we should lose it.

Still, we’re somewhat trained into thinking that holding on to our virginity is a bad thing. Studies have shown teenage girls are regularly pressured into sex, while movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin don’t exactly promote “waiting until you’re ready”.

'Girls' character Shoshanna was a virgin in her twenties. (Image: HBO)

On Reddit, male and female virgins aged between 26 and 40 were asked how they feel about their adult virginity status.

Of course, there are those who are unhappy with their situation and have tried everything they can to, as one user puts it, “get it out of the way”.

Yet the thread is also filled with completely happy, comfortable and unfazed adult virgins.

Watch the Mamamia team confess how they lost their virginity. Post continues after video.

There’s the man in his mid-40s who says he isn’t ashamed of his virginity and doesn’t see sex as something he’s missing out on.

“It affects my life about as much as not being left-handed,” he wrote.

There’s a 28-year-old woman who is completely happy with her virginity:

“I’m a 28-year-old female, and I don’t give a f*** about f***ing. It’s not like a hatred for relationships or anything, it’s just like… imagine a hobby that other people have, where you just aren’t interested in it at all. You don’t care to hear about it, to do it yourself, and you don’t see why people want to do it. It’s just not that fascinating to you. And before anyone asks, yes, I’ve gotten myself off before. It’s just okay.”

(Post continues after gallery.)

And then there’s the story of an 89-year-old virgin who’s lived an excellent, fulfilling, sex-free life:

“My aunt is an 89-year-old virgin. She’s travelled to every continent, has lived in Europe, the US and the Middle East, seen every major pyramid group, and owns a nice condo by the beach. She says that she’s had a better life than most people who have had sex, so why should she be upset?”

For every stereotype and expectation of adults losing their virginity status early in life, there are plenty of people who are totally, completely fine the way they are.

Did being a virgin ever trouble you?

This post originally appeared on Flo & Frank. It's a happy place for smart women, come say hello.

Featured image: Universal Pictures