“Yes…someone really did introduce me as “Jill and her two adopted sons” at a birthday party”.
I really, really try not to get wrapped around semantics when people make thoughtless remarks about our adoptions or when they ask a question that maybe they shouldn’t ask…or ask it in a way that’s offensive.
“It’s so great that you adopted…we’re going to adopt one day, too, but we want one of our own first.”
“He’s really adorable…do you have any of your own?”
“I’d like to introduce you to Jill and her adopted sons.”
All of these things have been said more than once…usually by people who mean no harm whatsoever. Correcting them is awkward, no matter how much diplomacy I practice and no matter how carefully I choose my words.
Every time someone says something like this, I wrestle with whether or not it’s appropriate to say something or whether I should just smile, nod and let it go. Sometimes it’s easier just to hold my tongue and understand that someone only meant to compliment my family or show interest.
But, the kids you’re talking about? The ones standing right next to me, paying attention to the question? They are my own. Why shouldn’t I speak up and politely make the distinction?