Opinionated Anthony has been talking about horse women on Married at First Sight. Well just like horse women there are surfing women; obsessed with their passion.
If you’re currently pregnant and a ‘surfing woman’, then you’re probably dreaming about your first wave back post bub. I had vivid surfing dreams throughout my pregnancy.
So, here’s a heads up for those planning on getting back in the water as soon as possible.
10 things you need to know about surfing post baby
- After birth, you have to wait SIX WEEKS before going in the ocean (to avoid infection of your uterus).
- After your first wipe out, or fall off a wave, be aware that smacking your rock hard milk laden boobs on the water is ultra painful.
- For those of you like me, who have never been ‘well endowed’ you may notice an increase in the number of surfers around you staring at your boobs.
- Between sets when surfers ask “how you going”, you will jump at the chance to say something along the lines of ‘well… I just had a baby, he’s a boy, he’s 11 weeks now. I probably should be at home with him, but I’m just taking this hour for myself. I’ve been told it’s healthy to still do things for you. Do you have kids? Do you know what the time is?’ *The recipient will distance themselves from you for the rest of the surf.
- You will ask various people in the line up “do you have the time?” every 2 minutes. Often responding with, “wonderful I’ve still got time for one more wave before the next feed” *much to their confusion.
- When you catch a wave to the beach and go to do the ‘run-around’ to paddle back out. You will realise while holding your board under one arm, your free arm is now required to hold your boobs to your chest while you jog.
- Every wave you catch, you’ll want to scream ‘freeeedoooommmmm” while riding it.
- With limited time, you will become a pest in the line up, hassling for waves and, cough, perhaps even dropping in once or twice. Hey, you most likely only have 45 minutes out there. Justified!
- When you get out of the surf and are walking to the car, you will most likely be told by various kind beach-goers that either your (now huge) nipple has exposed itself. Or that there may well be a small stream of breast milk flowing down your front. Or both. Funnily enough, you don’t give a damn.
- You will feel so liberated but so guilty when you get home to bub. Hey… surfing is about balance, and so is life!