The author of this piece is known to Mamamia, but has chosen to remain anonymous in telling her sensitive story.
Jake* and I were once perceived as the “Golden Couple” in our friendship group, and in fact, we thought we were.
Together, we did a lot of work trying to be better people. Meditation, reading books on spirituality and spending time in nature were an integral part of our lives.
Jake and I were part of a community that had a number of alternative beliefs. We were taught about honouring life, connecting with the earth and issues such as how dangerous it is to vaccinate your child (untrue), how damaging it is to a mother and her baby to have a C -section (also untrue) and how dangerous it is for a mother to have drugs during childbirth (again, untrue).
Other subjects included how abortion was basically murder of an unborn child, and how having multiple sexual partners meant you forever held the energy of the man you had sex with inside you .
Over a protracted period of time, Jake and I believed all of this.
I now realise that this was brainwashing, and in some cases caused women to endure prolonged and diﬃcult labours because they refused to have a C-section.
Jake was always a charismatic party boy who women were crazy about. Alcohol, drugs and bingeing was his way of life from the age of 18. We partied and travelled together for six years before we had children. But when I fell pregnant with our first child, he didn’t pull the reins in. Even at eight months pregnant I was on the phone ringing his friends at 4a.m. trying to see where he was or indeed if he was still alive. He would always be out drinking and taking drugs.
Still, I made excuses and stuck it out because again he was the charming, fun, good-looking guy. I was in love with him and he was my husband, and the father of my child.