To the woman whose husband I slept with:
You don’t like me… and for very good reason. I met your husband 10 years ago, way before dating apps were even a thing.
In fact, we met on a dating website.
I was seeing a guy and while he told me we were exclusive, I later found out that was not the case.
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So out of spite, I jumped on a dating website. I thought the best way to get over him, was to get under someone else.
At this stage, you hadn’t met your husband yet. Let's refer to him as 'B'.
That wouldn’t happen for another two years. He and I were seeing each other for roughly six months... but at that point in my life, I had no idea what I wanted and had no idea how to even begin to untangle the myriad of issues that were going on in my head.
I thought I wanted the traditionally handsome guy who made good money, who could sweep me off my feet, you know? Disney kind of sh*t.
B was ready to give everything to me, he was all in – but I was not. I needed danger, and attention, and loved boys who didn’t want to date me because I saw them as a project. Who doesn’t love a fixer upper?
"Oh, you don’t like me now? That’s fine, I’ll just hang around until you do."
"I’ll just 'be in the area' until you love me. You’re not interested? That’s okay, eventually we will end up dating."
That’s exactly what happened with the other guy I chose over B.
There were a million ups and downs between B and I, over our 10 years of friendship. I didn’t want him when he wanted me, but as soon as he stopped giving me attention, I’d find some way to get it back—just because I could.
I don’t remember the exact moment I found out about you, but I’m sure I was in a relationship and only started to care as soon as I was single again.
He and I would catch up for drinks on the odd occasion... and what would start innocently would always end up with us making out like two teenagers who didn’t care where we were, or who was watching.
You actually once messaged me on Facebook asking if he was saying inappropriate things to me.
He was. But I told you he wasn’t, and that lie came so easily.
At this point in time, I didn’t engage with him because I was in a relationship in another state.
A few years later, I moved overseas and for those four years we lost contact.